Everything Is Nothing: The Tragic Cost of Friendship

Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Tragic Cost of Friendship

presented by Jean Lambert-wild
based on a scenario by Jean Lambert-wild and Jeremiah McDonald
Performed, directed and photographed by Jeremiah McDonald
A Comedie de Caen production

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the Brilliant YouTube Viral Phenomena Genius Jeremiah McDonald a.k.a "Bernard Smith" a.k.a "Cornelius Blow"> the "ChurchOfBlow/YouTube Is My Life" Viral videos

Since his sponsorship by the French dramatic troupe the Comedie de Caen who discovered his genius via the web and smartly snatched him for France last year, Jeremiah's newest work can be seen at his French YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/comediedecaen

He is performing in a few weeks in the Festival D'Avignon in Paris.

(I can't describe just how massive of an unexpected surprise/honor/happy moment this was for me when he emailed me this. It meant a lot to me. His brilliant vids have kept me in comedic euphoria since 2006!!! and then I got to know him, surreal. Also contrary to the fb plug in here we didn't "meet" thru fb, fb came later. I feel amazed, grateful and humbled to be a part of his vid. and Sad/guilty by this video! Eating your shoes instead of burgers to save our friendship! =0). tragic. hug.)

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"LILIANA!!! Who and WHAT are you????!!!" -uh...I don't know dude. You tell me. THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU WHO KEEP ASKING ME THAT RETARDED QUESTION:

You Are a Two Point Conversion

You are an adept risk taker. You love to go for the glory.
You do what others are scared to do, and it pays off!

You have no fear, and because of this, you're able to look at the odds rationally.
You've taken enough small risks to get ahead in life, even if every risk hasn't panned out.

What Football Scoring Method Are You?

You Are an Alpha Female

Powerful, confident, and successful - you are definitely a dominant force.
You control social and dating situations. It's clear that you're always in charge.

Are You an Alpha Female?

Your Soul is Searching

You are a wanderer. You constantly long for a new adventure, challenge, or eve a completely different life.

You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it.

You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself.

Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there.

For you, falling in love is all about the adventure and uncertainty. You can only fall in love with someone who keeps you guessing.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Your Response is: Fight

When it comes to almost any situation, you're a fighter.
You're aggressive and intense. It's best if people don't mess with you.

No one is going to take advantage of you... or even get away with ticking you off.
Just remember to keep your temper in check. You don't have to fight everyone!

How Do You Respond: Fight or Flight?

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 100%

It's almost certain you'll be a multimillionaire. Just keep doing what you're doing.
You are good with money, a creative thinker, and an ethical person. You might be the next Donald Trump!

Will You Be a Multimillionaire?

You Are a Flawless Beauty!

When it comes to beauty, you spare no expense - and it shows
You're the kind of woman a man would launch a thousand ships for
It's hard for anyone to beat you in the beauty department
But remember, it's okay to show a flaw or too - you've got plenty to spare

What Type of Beauty Are You?

You Are Destined to Rule the World

You have the makings of a very evil dictator...
Which is both kind of cool and kind of scary!
Will you rule the world? Maybe. Maybe not.
But at least you know that you could.

Are You Destined For World Domination?

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Loyal

You stick with your friends no matter what, even if you feel like they're doing the wrong thing.
You believe in letting people figure out their own path in life. It's not your place to interfere.

And part of your loyalty means that you'll do a lot for your friends. You definitely go the extra mile.
You'll even do great things for friends without them asking. After all, that's what friendship is all about.

You are truly a friend for life. And you have friends you've known since you were a kid.
Your friends can count on you to do a favor, remember a birthday, or just be there to listen.

Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else

You really can't be friends with: Fickle people who change friends quickly

Your friendship quote: "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows."

What Makes You a Good Friend?

You Are 100% Tortured Genius

You totally fit the profile of a tortured genius. You're uniquely brilliant - and completely misunderstood.
Not like you really want anyone to understand you anyway. You're pretty happy being an island.

Are You a Tortured Genius?

You Are 94% Evil

You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!

How Evil Are You?

You Can Make 100% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

Admit it, you can seduce practically anyone. And sometimes you try just for fun.
You're a total heartbreaker that knows when to play it cool.
You are the type of person people go completely lovesick over. Just use your powers for good, okay?

Can You Make Anyone Fall in Love With You?

Your Superpower Should Be Manipulating Electricity

You're highly reactive, energetic, and super charged.
If the occasion calls for it, you can go from 0 to 60 in a split second.
But you don't harness your energy unless you truly need to.
And because of this, people are often surprised by what you are capable of.

Why you would be a good superhero: You have the stamina to fight enemies for days

Your biggest problem as a superhero: As with your normal life, people would continue to underestimate you

What Should Your Superpower Be?

Your Sexuality is Brazilian

The average Brazilian first has sex at age 16.
And the average number of partners is 15.
Brazilians spend 20 minutes on foreplay on average.
The typical Brazilian has sex two times a week.

What Country Matches Your Sexuality?

You Are Extremely Sexually Powerful

Your sexual power is obvious - you don't do anything to hide your sexuality.
In fact, if there's such a thing as a person with too much sexual power, it's you.

Your life and thoughts are dominated by sex. And while it's good to be sexually liberated, you're starting to have a one track mind.
You don't always have to use your sexual power. There's more to human interaction than getting naked!

Are You Sexually Powerful?

You Are 100% Real

There's hardly a person on this earth more real than you are.
You have no problem showing people who you are, flaws and all.
For you, there couldn't be any other way. Because it's way too stressful to live an inauthentic life.
You're very comfortable with yourself. And because of this, you're able to live an exciting, interesting, and challenging life.

How Real Are You?

Your Vocabulary Score: A

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary!
You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

You Crave an Important Life

Your dream is to life a live a life that leaves a mark.
You'd like to have a mission or journey to complete, even if it takes years.

You want your life to be meaningful, and having a final goal brings you meaning.
You'd like to accomplish something big, if only to inspire others to believe it can be done.

The Sunset Test

You Should Be With a Fire Sign!

Your best match is an Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius

Why? You like your guys manly - and in control
Not to mean controlling, but you do like the guy to take the lead
A Fire Sign man will take you by the hand and show you the world
Just make sure you're bold too - because this guy likes a challenge!

What Sign Guy Should You Date?

Hahahah. that's what Every quiz says. Cuz I'm a Leo too-fire sign. Well I'm with a Scorpio (the most fuckin' complicated and mysterious one there is!!!!! geezus)-and it works GREAT. But yea...I do like men who are challenges.

You Are Most Like Samantha!

For you, dating is the ultimate sport
You're into guys with power, looks, or a lot of money.
You rather have a great two weeks than a great forever.
But even you fall victim to love from time to time. :-)

Romantic prediction: You'll find love in the next few months...

But you'll be the last one to realize it.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

You Would Win Best Actor / Actress

You are confident and talented. When it's time for you to shine, you step up.
You have a strong personality. You love attention, and you can command an audience of any size.

You tend to be a bit obsessive. You're the perfect person to immerse yourself in a big role.
You're both empathetic and expressive. You understand and communicate well.

What Would You Win an Oscar For?

You Date Like a Man

According to studies on dating, you date like a man.
You date casually and frequently, getting serious with select people over time.

Physical attraction and chemistry is very important to you.
And if there's nothing more than a physical connection, that's okay with you (at least for a while).

You are definitely looking for love, but you are in no rush to find it.
You figure love will eventually come your way, and you're not going to live like a monk while you're waiting!

Do You Date Like a Man or a Woman?

You Have Willpower of Steel

Your personal motto could be "Where there's a will, there's a way."
If you will something, you make it happen - no matter how difficult it is.

You don't back down from commitments, even when you regret making them.
That being said, you are pretty careful about what you commit to!

Is Your Willpower Strong?

You're a Total Maneater

Almost every guy that crosses your path ends up a little worse for the wear.
You see men as your playthings - and your motto is "So many men, so little time."
And while you're having fun, everyone is a little scared of you.
Your girlfriends are leery of your man-eating ways. And most men find you downright freaky.

Are You a Maneater?

You Go For Brains and Body!

You like a guy who can make your heart melt with his smile...
But he's got to have something in his head to really draw you in.
You're not superficial - just honest!

Do You Go For A Guy's Brains or Body?

You Were an Achieving Kid

When you were a kid, people often remarked on how mature you seemed. You acted quite adult.
You excelled at school, and you actually enjoyed it to a large extent. No one had to ask you to do your homework.

As a kid, you were probably a bit picky. You liked structure, schedules, and organization.
You had trouble being friends with regular kids. You probably were only friends with other serious children.

What Kind of Kid Were You?

Your Dreams Are Important

Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious.

You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep.

Overall, you are very content in your life.

You tend to be a very productive thinker.

Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities.

Your dreams indicate that you have very conflicted feelings.

You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

Your Life is 100% Perfect

You truly have the perfect life. And you probably feel like the luckiest person in the world.
You have a great career, family, and personal life. You have it going on!

How Perfect is Your Life?

You Are 100% Thankful

You're an incredibly thankful person, and everyone around you feels very appreciated.
You inspire people to be more optimistic, forgiving, and grateful.

How Thankful Are You?

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Exploring

You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name.
You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs.

An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles.
You show people how to question their models of the world.

What's Your Thinking Style?

Your Heart Craves Love

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Pizza Says You Like Quality Food

You tend to be attracted to rustic, homemade foods.
You don't like fancy restaurant food. You prefer your own cooking.

Pizza Topping You Should Try: Basil

Stay away from: Any pizza overloaded with a mess of toppings

You Are 40% Left Brained, 60% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

You Have Good Manners 90% of the Time

You manners are perfect. You always carry yourself with class.
You know how to be considerate toward everyone - even if they aren't considerate to you.

You Are Jack

You are a natural but reluctant leader. People are drawn to you in times of crisis.
And while the role of leader is not something you're totally comfortable with, you will fight hard to keep it.

You are obsessed with fixing things and people. You can't rest until everything is better.
You have complicated ethics. Doing the right thing is important to you, even though other people may not understand your motives.

You are concerned with maintaining your stoic image. It hurts when other people see you suffer.
Deep down you are very moody. You tend to be unhappy, and you have a depressed, self-destructive streak.

Who Are You on LOST?

You Are An Invisible Ex

You're so over your ex, you hardly even remember you have an ex.
You prefer leave all of the baggage behind you - far, far behind.
As they say, indifference is the opposite of love!

What Type of Ex Are You?

The True You Values Harmony

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend as little as possible.

You think good luck might come your way, but if it does you'll be so surprised you'll burst out laughing.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you.

You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match.

Who's The True You?

You Are a Cartographer

You have a wide range of knowledge and you're very detail oriented.
You have a photographic memory, and you remember places very well.

Like a middle ages cartographer, you're also very adventurous and curious about the world.
In modern times, you would make a good non-fiction writer or scientist.

What's Your Medieval Profession?

You Don't Need a Man ... or Want One!

Generally, you're very happy being a single woman.
And anyone who has a problem with that... well, that's there problem.
Not that you wouldn't share your life with the almost perfect guy.
You simply won't settle though. Your life is too good to share with some substandard man!

Do You Need a Man?

You Live Your Life Silently

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You say whatever is on your mind. Other people's reactions don't phase you.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.

How Do You Live Your Life?