ME-1st Slideshow and MY ARTWORKS-2cd/bottom Slideshow

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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Fame as still as a Mountain

She closed her eyes and descended further into the secret abyss. Part of the tiny joys that put pinpricks along her spine was the unknown, being in it and breathing it. Every plant, the curvature of the spear shaped leaves, the blue openness of the sky was perfect. She was on top of everything, God. What a humbling megalomania, to be on top of a mountain looking down at the ocean, the people tiny, the buildings miniscule. It made her aware of the insignificance of one human in comparison to the great big Earth, universe, galaxies. Simultaneously, how easily fame bridged that gap of insignificance and self-importance.

If she were to walk down the rocky mountain to the pink, yellow and blue structures below she would be instantly recognizable. Here, in this town somewhere on the outskirts of the city, oblivious to the hub of celebrity life, she could still create total chaos. One un-sunglassed walk into a local dairy below and in 5 minutes half the town's populace would be lining the block fighting each other for an autograph, even just a glimpse of her. So wrong it was, this mask of over-pompous importance, but how true it was. On the mountains, in nature's power, surrounded by evanescent wind and such radiant colours, it was a human that dominated the world.

How lost their race was. How anxious to believe in something, to hope that one person's life could hold such a gravity. How beautiful they all were, fragile and corruptible.

Bring a man to the mountains and sit him on the highest cliff. Show him now near his fingers are to the highest clouds. Let a man grasp how much power he holds within. And pray that in his confidence, he may still be humble.

She watched the sun shining its' rays over the sparkling water. The pact had been made, her and nature, nature and her, but soon it would be only a memory. She walked further into the abyss, preparing the mask she would have to wear, as the mountain covered itself with grass and weeds, she too would keep this peace hidden within her, would show only her designer sunglasses and tanned face to the hordes of her followers below.

Someday, she hoped she's bring all her fans onto the mountain, let them all feel the infinite wisdom of branches, ocean and hawks. It would be a union of all humans, drenched in the warm arms of planet Earth.

Someday her fame would be more than a bridge between spirituality and materialism.

Someday it would hold the power of a still mountain.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Universal Human Condition and Its Thwarted Cure

Why do people read, write, listen to music, work, do anything at all besides dream?

Because all of humanity is secretly lonely, a loneliness felt deep within the soul of a unilateral existence. We seek anything that shows us in some min-ute way that in our loneliness we all feel the same, that we are understood, that our lives, while utterly alone, will never be insignificant or forgotten because Someone Else has understood us. Someone we may have never met, that thru their craft communicates perfectly those hidden nuances in our souls which to us were always felt, but uncommunicable. A client in a law firm. A singer on stage. An author of a book. A scientist with a theory. We, in our incredible loneliness, are all each other's significant Icons. To ourselves, we are only ourselves. But to others, we are the promise and fulfillment of complete understanding of the soul. What we see in a mirror is somebody else's answer, someone else's dream. We are all an icon to someone else. The thread of how a tapestry works is that each individual thread cannot make anything unless intertwined with another. Thus, the idea of Love, the complete solution to this pattern. From 2 individual threads, one is woven. From 1000 individual humans, a society is made.

In all our loneliness, we are alone. But to anyone else, we are a part, a vital part of their imagination and hope. We play some crucial piece of the jigsaw puzzle they try to solve every day.

Insanity is one of the cures of loneliness in which a person makes up many different people, thoughts, observations, and therefore connections (instead of normalcy which requires different people to have separate identities, purposes and meanings to the individual), the insane person instead of seeking the world and all its occupants of people and lifestyles, brings the world to himself, manifesting it in his/her own head.

Therefore is incapable of interacting with anything else other than one's own mind. Due to lack of communication, lack of understanding by other humans, this individual becomes categorized as "diseased". When any human being is able to relate to others, they become iconic, a representation of true Cure of soul-felt loneliness.

An insane person sacrifices relatability to others for relatability to his/her own self.

He/she becomes a nonety, a person not able to relate to others, thus seen by others as somewhat useless.

Humans want desperately to find a connection, understanding, validation, whether in the form of human relatability, or monetary gain, or status socially, or even extreme dislike for it shows the reverse of connection.

But an insane person is indifferent to social needs and wants. And is therefore an outcast by his own solution to loneliness, with a world inside the mind instead of living in the external one. In order to solve this loneliness, the human must succumb to his insanity. By doing so, he/she will be free, but in the eyes of the humans around him, no longer fully, human.

a thought on Love

Knowing and loving him, to the depths of so many platforms of connection has given me an enlightenment comparable to nothing before or after it.

Love is more than ultimate obsession. More than devotion, care, commitment, responsibility; it is a depth beyond anything else. It transcends our superficial existence and bites a dagger thru its core. It shakes us, questions us, throws us in a million directions and splits us apart. Those who have never known it, oh how I wish you could. Simultaneously, previously being part of that percentage which doubts its existence, and its "grandeur", I can firmly say without a doubt that it is Nothing like fairy tales or movies. It is More. It is on a level deeper and filled with greater journeys than the wildest imagination could dream. Journeys of the mind, the conscious, the subconscious, the gut, the libido, all of it.

What I feel for you is the most human love, and the most supernatural transcendental power of any miracle. I Love You.

Thursday, October 16, 2008



here are some new song lyrics of mine. (it all rhymes to the tune in my mind. haven't recorded the music yet.)


i think i have a skewed perception
every thought is opposite from what they think
i'd rather be a hermit than popular
rather be of original substance than a #1 hit

all the picket fence brainwash
yea I flew above that from the start
they tell me life is only one way
i see it all as art

oh and i walked on water
when jesus was frozen in my kidneys
i have supernatural powers
i can soar when i'm asleep


i'm a paranoid schizophrenic
hypomanic A.D.D
bipolar and a depressive OBCD

in my eyes i see the future
it's anything i want it to be
they all wanna call me crazy
i know i'm a genius. a genius.

this is how all genius speaks

been called ugly, beautiful, hot
and everything in between
you will find across all borders
you're only as big as you believe

delusional, said all the uppers
as i shared my plans to change the world
"its the ego that destroys you"
settle for a life less bold

you got all your labels
i got all my brain
i know i'm not the only one
who sees it all this way

voice-over bridge:

Kahlo, Einstein, Plath, Da Vinci
Nash, Plato, Gates, Manson, Shakespeare
They all had a vision nobody understood
Now the world bows to the ones they ridiculed

chorous x2

Friday, October 10, 2008

Wednesday, October 08, 2008


there's a birdie in my heart
watch it dance and sing a lot
feathers grow as it dances
flying upon currents of time

there's a poison in my veins
watch it soak into the trees
when the nests are being built
it will slowly, surely kill

Thursday, October 02, 2008


Change is Everywhere. It's all Free. It's all Love. Can you SEE IT?! Can you Smell IT? Open yourself to it. Do not let Fear and Cynicism overtake you. Young People! Old People! That label doesn't even matter anymore, nor does race, sex, religion, political influence. You are a carbon-based form vessel, individualizing yourself thru everything you see, everything you do. That nagging thing in your mind, Listen to it will you?!!! It's the thing that defies any and all present logic and creates huge opportunities, solutions and new dimensions of thought that are unique to only you. Listen to your instincts, to your deepest, truest beliefs because those are what matter. Everything else is noise. The Internet, GRAND. 10 years ago I couldn't have the massive audience after just typing something up, or drawing, or painting, or making music. It is Now! FAN FUCKING TASTIC. 10 years ago it wasn't possible to make more money out of an invisible entity like webspace than in an "office job". Nay not even that! It's a matter of opening your mind to the Possibility of something Working. "Hmm, I wonder if I walk down this street today and ask every person for $5. What's the worst thing that could happen, ...oh what will everyone think.." "I wonder if I just hugged this person coming towards me, this stranger. Nah. They'd think I was a pervert." "I wonder...I wonder if I did "X" would it work?" I am a Dragon Jaguar representation of this change and let me tell you it is all SO FUCKING POSSIBLE ITS RIDICULOUS. I taught myself everything I know (dance, cooking, music, art, health, love, business, ...basic "SKool" subjects, all the things that click like de ja vou when I bump into them) institutionalized education hasn't made the cut for many years. Knowledge is everywhere, Grab it! Though its not actually "learning" so much as it is recollecting what I already knew within myself. Actual knowledge is putting into application that which is in your mind; for the part of you that nobody but you sees, to be released and visible. That is all your soul, your entire being Yearns and Aches to do. Everything flows, anything is possible, and that is not naive or day-dreamy self-help fodder, its fucking REAL people. If your life isn't twisting and turning in quite the way you want it to, never doubt what you knew or were seeking originally. Time, space, people, the weather, it takes a while for these forces to catch up to the idea in you. Experiment with yourself and see just how far your vision can take you. It's euphoric! Don't ever quit being you or thinking the way you think. Be adaptable, be versatile and able to change, but retain your YOU-NESS. Things that make perfect sense in your brain are likely to be nonsense to your "real-world logic". Fuck it. Do it anyway. Just to piss yourself off, kick yourself in the ass and love yourself all at once. See, its so hard, so miserable, so excruciating to Trust Yourself, because it would mean that everything which is around you doesn't fit. It means that You are your own answer, and you have the responsibility to live up to whatever that answer is, to change what doesn't fit, BECAUSE ONLY YOU AND NO OTHER BEING HAS IT! Minimum wage, mortgage, deaf, blind, hungry, poor, legless, raped, abused, fucked, ignored, skewered, unappreciated, all of it is a triangle trying to convince you of your destiny. Beating you up, scaring you, making you into a terrorized square when what you really are is a brilliant hexagon. Shut up all the outside fuss. Don't let anyone or anything external define who and what you are (this writing included.) What is Your destiny? What is Your path? Well, only you know that. Listen!