ME-1st Slideshow and MY ARTWORKS-2cd/bottom Slideshow

Chat Live!

Saturday, September 19, 2009


Holy crap!!!! This is one of the Russian films that I grew up on!!! Can't believe I was able to find it!!! YOUTUBE ROCKS!!!!! WoooHooooo!!!! Parts 1-9 available! =0))))

As The Wind

First saw the music video of this when I was visiting my family in Russia in 07', it has remained one of the most beautiful recent Russian pop songs I have heard. Can't believe I found it!!! Youtube is pretty amazing.

this is not a verbatim translation, there are not really such words of depth in the English language to convey the meaning&layers of Russian.

"as the wind"

when I die I shall become the wind
and will live upon your roof
when you die you shall become the sun
and you shall still be above me
in the autumn wind I will resonate
you won't notice
and I won't make it obvious
and you will warm , everything

chorous: but listen, please do not yet become the sun, for I will sing you songs from the roof, I will wait for your smile alone, I will listen to your favourite vinyls, I will gently take off the snowflakes from your eyelashes, and there will be nothing left but to become wind

when I die, I will become the wind
and will fall to the earth thru the first snowfall
I will fly with you all over the world
there will be no greater happiness than this
when you die, you will become the sun
and will warm all my freezing winters
and from the coldest heart tears will be able to flow

chorous x2

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Euphoria of Jumping Out of a Plane...WEEE!!!!!

Me skydiving back in August with Gene and Alex


Plummeting to my death from 13,000 at 120mph in Santa Barbara.


Wednesday, September 16, 2009

so about the whole Taylor Swift/Kanye West incident

here's a replay for anyone who didn't see it:

I think Kanye did it because he genuinely supported Beyonce. I don't think he did it to piss anyone off. I rather think it was done out of genuine love for a fellow musician that he felt had went thru a lot and wasn't being recognized for it. I'm sure he felt both stupid and good when Beyonce ended up winning Video of the Year-whereas Taylor only won best Female video. I think Kanye acted rashly and impulsively, but I think he did it out of respect for his friend. We all do rash things in the name of love. I don't mean it like he's in Love with her, but that he really values her as an artist. I can imagine doing something like that if I felt strongly enough about something. I doubt that he was even aware it was national tv. when you're in that moment, you're in that moment, you aren't thinking clearly. Beyonce was gracious in remedying the whole thing, Kanye has already stated a public apology, Taylor will remember that moment for the rest of her life. If you think it's sad that she never got to live her glory, yes that is true, but she also got one of the most memorable moments in VMA history! She's a talented and great artist with a bright future ahead of her, and I'm sure she's mature enough to be over it. This great controversial moment in music history was great, though I believe it can be summed up to being an impulsive act of love rather than some underbellied move of politics or "black man hates white woman". You know how you would fight anyone who didn't value your loved ones, your friends, your family, well imagine that animosity of emotion whlst being famous. If you had a friend that was super brilliant that you felt wasn't getting the recognition they deserved, wouldn't it tick you off? Even if your own perception of it wasn't true, your brain wouldn't be able to distinguish the difference. Kanye goofed, but he realized his mistake.

Let's try to remember the overall Spirit of the VMA's, which was LOVE, especially in honoring Michael Jackson. So stop with the bickering and trying to assign some ghastly agenda to Kanye's simple action.

Put yourself in other people's shoes and see what they see.

That solves 99.9 % of any problem, world or otherwise.

Peace out.


I imagine a new world. I imagine a new paradigm shift. Maybe it will only arise with 2012, maybe later, maybe earlier. I imagine an era where Thought and Idea are given the Greatest of value. Greater than fame, achievement, success or glory. Where the seeking of Truth , is realized as the highest level of human experience any human can reach. An era in which the scientists, the philosophers , the writers and the thinkers, will have their own “mtv”. Will have their own “oscars”. And not just the nobel prizes, which are reserved for the high elite, usually in their 70's close to old age, recognized for the Lifetime achievements they have made. A new era in which the true World Class THINKERS are actually Listened to for a change. A world in which peace is not an unrealistic dream but a factual reality. In this reality, fictional gems of entertainment though they are, Twilight and Harry Potter will pale in significance to the global contributions of works to rival Shakespeare. Where young Poets, and Scholars, are given the same celebrity hoo-haa reserved for the masses of undeserving Paris Hilton wannabes of today. A new era of mergence of man and thought, where dreamers are not told to stop dreaming, but will prevail as the victorious leaders of Courage and Strength. Where the geeks and the nerds will not be bullied by the bullies, but given the platform of voice, and the tools to make their innovative visions for a new reality, actual reality. A new era in which there will be more effort spent in harnessing together enlightened minds than to seek future slaves to amass in regurgitative employee-breeding academic institutions. A new generation of brilliants who put their energy into upholding the truths self evident to our very existence, rather than wasting their talents on becoming robots in a media-scheme that defines “success”. I dream of this day, which, despite the dislike of all those so violently against it, is coming fast upon us. This day when the front page news will be a story of humanity's progress, and not it's hatred and downfall. When it is no longer “weak” to share emotions, no longer “delusional” to dream grand dreams, no longer “foolish” to take giant leaps toward a completely unknown future. This new world, which will Harness the tools of technology and not be Addicted to it. This new sunrise which will bring awakening not possible thru superficial trends of “happiness”, but a true sense of the purpose of every living being. The sparkling colours of this new world will not be those of religious zealots condemning the world to fear the words of an imaginary dictator. Rather an internal humbling energy felt amongst All lifeforms in acknowledgement and respect of this mysterious quantity around us known as Life. That though the ultimate question of Why we are all here may never be answered, to live in a world in which the Revolution is to no longer Ignore the question, but to Embrace it. When will that flickering box with it's shimmery fantasies be valid of worth? When the channels our young flip thru be comprised of messages of Love, instead of messages of Cynicism and Materialistic Filth. When the youth of our planet rid themselves of temporary pleasures and a lifestyle of trash, and instead Jump at the opportunity to fill their souls with Meaning. This reality in which the time and focus spent on creating commercials to convince consumers to Buy Buy Buy, and audiences of theatrical spectacles to not be Forced with any one genre of a message, this focus of the world and it's people will re-direct itself towards eliminating Consumers and Sellers and re-invent a sustainable economy of Seekers. Where people will not Live to Work, not Work to Live, not Make Money to Survive or to Buy Buy Buy crap they don't need, but to Seek continuously higher truths about their own minds and hearts. To live in a light where earthly concerns are no longer relevant, or even necessary. This new world, what a grand world it is. For it will be just as full of contradictions as the world we live in now. But in this new world, contradictions, will no longer be, Judged. Every individual will be free to be exactly as they are, with no one right of how they should be or should aspire to be. Love will not be limited to being between one man and one woman. But open to three women and one tree, two men and an elephant, five children and a smile. This world where money will Not be the ultimate objective in analyzing a person's true motive. This is not a world about hippies and making love and not war. There will be the brutality of nature, the raw beauty of instinct. But it will be Pure. Not twisted and devoid of Understanding. An Understanding that every day, every Minute, of this gift we live in, holds such precious Power in it's every second. That with our every action, another being is affected, and to make that effect, one of Love. For in this world, of this world, love will be the closes truth of coming close to making any sense of the complexity which surrounds us. And It, will hold truer than any law system, any political disparity, any economical fault or gain. This Love, will be what every being will turn to, when lost, when afraid, when alone. A love that is overpowering, and yet quiet. A love which shakes the soul into the depths of despair and yet rights it. A love which is felt, felt so freely and so deeply and so fully, that eventually every day it will grow closer and closer to being Seen. That when you will wake upon a morning and see the sun, that when you will gaze upon the stars of a dark sky, you will be able to see in this new world, it's shimmers, it's shinings, it's Glows, irrefutable, undeniable. This world isn't in my imagination. It's a prophecy that Shall be fulfilled, and slowly is coming to fruition. And every egotistical mind which initially sneers at it, will eventually bow to it. Not in fear, not in terror, but in tears of realization that every second of our albeit Limited existence, thru Love, is Unlimited. That one person, is never, was never, will never be, alone.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Two brilliant musicians talking with one another, INCREDIBLE.

Exactly, Arvo gives his listeners space , in his music. Freedom. Their own Universe.

What My Soul Feels Right Now

Arvo offers us room to explore in our own universe, to dance upon the wavelengths on our minds. His never forced....never aggressive. Though it is immensely Powerful, in it's absence of the struggle for power. It overtakes you and fills you with the essence of Light, and Dark, both. It's pure simplicity is as complex as the magic of the emotions it makes you feel, the strand of beauty which you can Sense and Taste and See when you close your eyes. It maddens you with obsession and takes you to a place of divine peace that normally is only possible to reach by falling in love.

Arvo's music makes life anyway....worth living. I don't think there is any higher element of truth music can offer, to give the Hope, of Life, to someone.

Monday, September 14, 2009

True Story, I just wish someone had videotaped it

This was around 2 pm today on the intersection of Franklin Avenue and Hollywood Blvd.

I was on one of my regular jogs/runs throughout the city, wearing my usual all black outfit w/beanie, as that is just the shit I like to wear when I run, K? great. fantastic. moving on.

3 cops, 1 somewhat fat, 1 really fat, 1 sort of young even I guess could be considered attractive in some standards, were all talking outside of their parked car.

Talking about what? I don't know. Maybe bitching about the fact that donut price has gone up since the recession.

So. There's the 3 of them, and the 1 of me, and I'm about to cross the street. Yea bla bla it was a red light and that little dude that glows on the "you may now walk" interactive crosswalk sign wasn't blinking on the other side of the street. But there were NO CARS. And by that I mean exactly that, NO CARS. The street I was about to cross was absolutely empty and the cross traffic was going forward in my direction. So, I continue running across the street. Not really ever occurring to me that I'm "sticking it to the man" with the cops being on the other side because I genuinely didn't think it was any big deal to be crossing a street with again, ZERO CARS on it.

Soon as I hit the pavement on the other side I shit you not, the somewhat fat cop reaches out and grabs my hand as I'm jogging past them. Like literally the bastard reaches out and grabs my hand interrupting my lovely gliding run and causing the right headphone to fly out of my ear. And that totally pissed me off right there because I HATE to be interrupted whilst immersed in any activity, Especially running, Especially while listening to one of my favorite songs at the moment (Just Like You Imagined-Nine Inch Nails). SO. Now that fattie has let go of my arm, and has me paused and panting on the sidewalk, I remove my hoodie and just stare at all 3 of them. One thing you must know about me, I rarely ever speak unless it is absolutely necessary in social situations, which usually drives people nuts, but that's just the way I am, not to piss anyone off, I just see no point in talking for the sake of empty chitter chatter. I guess my silence was having some huge effect on the 3 egos in front of me because fattie grabbed my hand Again and started pulling me towards their cop car. Generally, I'm a peaceful person. This was just a "wtf" moment. So I reacted, unintentionally, but instinctually. I made a sharp turn and moved my arm upwards, causing fattie's arm to fly off mine and hang limp at his side, to which, (men are such babies, geezus), the pussy I swear to the thanksgiving turkey, said "oww, you bitch!" and hugged his arm with his other hand (which I laugh at-because seriously, it was hilarious). So now the other two geezers are moving towards me, (is that supposed to be some intimidating tactic?), and the big fattie starts talking, "What the hell are you doing crossing the street on a red light?". To which I say, "dude. There are No cars."
And he spuffs, "You Saw there were 3 police officers on the other side of the street and you crossed anyway."

Me, "Yea, SIR, there were No cars on the street. That rule is more of a guideline, you know, to keep retards from dying."

Ok, I Probably shouldn't have said that, but this whole "we are the mighty powerful protectors of los angeles and you are a criminal for disobeying our worthy rule" thing that they were on was irritating me.

Big Fattie: "Ah so I see, you're a smartass aren't you. "

Me, "Wow. Congratulations! You have correctly identified an individual for being who they are. Didja learn that in cop school?"

Now that really pissed the 3 of them off. The sort of good looking one then goes up to me and says "I could arrest you right now".

to which I laugh and step closer into his face, "for what? Exercising my freedom of speech?"

I'm really wondering, and appalled when I think about this in hindsight why 1 girl, on a street, is being interrogated by 3 cops, in broad daylight, and NOT A SINGLE PERSON pulls over to check what the fuck is going on.

Ok so then Mr. sort of good looking pulls me over to the cop car, slams me against it, takes both my arms and squeezes them behind my back.

Yea I wasn't having none of that. I'm not trying to sound like a hardass here but for cops these guys were really pretty weak. I put pressure on my right arm and twist to the left, forcing His left arm to release his grip, and now we're face to face. At which point, ah, one of my proudest moments, I look him in the eye and say, "You can't arrest me for nothing and that just kills you, doesn't it." I REALLY , I mean REALLLLLY wanted to kick him in the nuts but that probably would have been a stupid thing to do. But I was tempted.

And now the 1st fattie who I guess has "recovered" from my oh-so-brutal beating of his arm LMAO comes closer and says, "another word you punkass and I'll lay a citation on you for crossing the street on a red light. And being dressed like you're going to a funeral."

Me: Laughing.

and laughing some more.

"Really? Damn that's some power man! I should have been a cop. You're gonna give me a citation for crossing a street with No cars on it, and then you're gonna tell me that I'm not allowed to wear whatever the fuck I want in expressing my right to Express myself, in this grand America that you're so apparently protecting?"

and then the sorta good looking one looks at me and says, "another word and we're writing you a citation."

And I say, "word".

Then gave a mocking military salute. And run. Run very fast.

K no I wasn't on drugs and yes I was sober. It was just one of those situations which more logically could have been solved with "yes sir. I'm sorry sir. fuck me up the ass sir. Sorry to disturb you sir." But I just couldn't say that. I'm sick of the control this supposed LAW SYSTEM has over people. Who just stand or sit there and take abuse because they are AFRAID of "what might happen".

you know what happened when I ran?

Absolutely nothing. I put my headphones back on pretty fast, I thought I heard a "hey where are you going?!!" but I'm not sure.

Nothing happened.

I ran and ran , up to runyan canyon and then I took a breath. half expecting them to be chasing me.


Moral of the story? I don't know . there isn't really a moral.

I guess, I don't know. mouthing off to idiots is fun. And.....they couldn't do shit, and they knew it.

so...yea. anyway.

another day in hollywood. woop de woop.

It's not any big deal. but just I wish someone had caught this on tape. it would have been pretty funny on youtube I think.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I lie in the sound

I love you more than I should
So much more than is good for me
More than is good

Oh the timing is cruel
Oh I need and don't want to need
More than I should

I am falling, say my name
And I'll lie in the sound
What is love, but whatever
My heart needs around

Oh my sheet is so thin
So I say I can't sleep because
It's so very cold

Oh but I know what I need
And if you were just near to me
Would you go...

I am falling, say my name
And I'll lie in the sound
What is love, but whatever
My heart needs around

I am falling, say my name
And I'll lie in the sound
What is love, but whatever
My heart needs around

And it needs you too much now

Thursday, September 03, 2009

How Do You Know If Someone is Lying to You - Telltale Signs of a Liar

Author: Gillian Reynolds

Exactly how do you know if someone is lying to you? That's a question we all feel a need to ask at some point. It's frustrating when you believe someone you care about is being dishonest with you. It's even more disappointing when you tell them you think they are lying and they brush it off. Short of hooking them up to a lie detector machine, is there a way to tell if they're being untruthful with you? There actually is. There are a few distinct body language signs of a liar that can help you determine whether or not someone is being honest with you.

One of the telltale signs of a liar that most people aren't aware of is very subtle, but also very telling. Liars have a tendency to want to cover up their lies but figuratively and literally. When a person is lying to you watch their hands. If they bring their hands up to their face and hold one near their mouth or nose that's a signs of a liar. Subconsciously they are trying to cover up their lie and to do so they attempt to conceal their mouth in some way. Most liars aren't even aware that they are doing this at all. Watch for it next time you question the person you believe is lying to you.

Another of the body language signs of a liar is more obvious. It's difficult for most liars to maintain eye contact for any period of time. If the person you believe is lying to you looks to the left often when talking to you, that's not a promising sign. They are having trouble looking directly tat you because they know they are misleading you. Pay special attention to the eyes of the suspected liar. They will tell you a lot about the person.

About the Author:

Most lies are never uncovered and the person being lied to is oblivious. If you believe someone you care about is lying to you, it can undermine your trust in them. There's an easy and incredibly effective way to spot a liar. If you are tired of second guessing whether or not your spouse is telling the truth, you can become a human lie detector.

Lies hurt people and they destroy relationships. Don't waste another minute of your time agonizing over whether or not your spouse is lying to you. You can find out right now whether they are being truthful or not. You deserve to know what's really going on.

Article Source: -
How Do You Know If Someone is Lying to You - Telltale Signs of a Liar

Everyone is a Liar

My kitty, who now is three sizes bigger than when I first adopted her, is biting my leg. She believes that my feet are her chew toys. My sleep cycle is all fucked up since coming back from Malaysia. My diet consists of Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs and strawberry tea. I have questions that beg for a million answers. None of which I can immediately solve, because sadly, the older you get the more you realize that many of life's questions aren't only limited to profound shit like "why are we here?", but "why did so-and-so act this way?". People. None of them can be trusted. Most of them are a waste of time. Numbers I like. Logic I like. Even my kat who is trying to eat me alive I like. Pythons I like. Knives I like. People are beautiful. So addicting, and so empty. Because at the end of it, they're only good for a few things. Sex. Business. Networking. You Hope, you Wish, that they'd be great for love. But this vessel has learned that love is yet another one of life's "HAHAHAHAAHA!'s" at you. You put all your everything into one person and they can fuck you over just like that. That type of cruelty shouldn't be allowed. It should be illeagal. How is it that physical rape, arson, defacement to public property are illegal and yet damaging a person, an actual living person, is allowed? And that more and more, because of the increasing loneliness of the 21st century, people willingly engage in these bizarre occurances known as relationships, putting themselves out there to be damaged. What the fuck is the point. Of anything. I'm sleeping thru life.

Right now the best reason I have to stay alive is to learn how to play the violin that my awsum friend Alex bought for me for my birthday. I'm shocked that he remembered I wanted one.

I've watched Jesus Camp and Confessions of a Superhero in the past 2 days, and I think I've found a new addiction. Documentaries. Somehow they seem to be a better use of time than ordinary movies. At least the people who made them are trying to create practical change. Well someone has to watch all these movies right? That would be me.

Also an interesting flick:

Dakota Skye. A quirky reality based indie flick about a girl who "cannot be lied to". That's her superpower. She can tell when someone is lying. To actually get, Truth. A thing which most spend their entire lives trying to find and never do.

Right now, that to me, seems the best superpower to have.

I'm so tired of the bullshit people spew.

And the sickest part is, even when you Know somewhere within your logical self, that they're spewing bullshit, if you Believe in people, regardless of how retarded the shit they are saying sounds, you refuse to admit they're lying to you.

News alert.

Most , if not all people, lie , Most, if not all the time.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Jesus Camp

This film is absolutely horrifying.

Anyone curious about just how deep of an impact fundamentalists are making in damaging the world needs to see this. Keep an open mind though. There were more than a few times when I had my fists balled up in anger.

There is so much which needs to be changed.

The western world needs a make-over.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

back in the city of lost angels

is back in Hollywood. Already missing the East. and Malaysia's incredible Rain. The Only thing I'm super psyched about being back in the Western world is taking a few Harvard distance courses this fall. And by the way, if anyone loves to learn, MIT offers FREE open source web courses in practically every subject: (I'm brushing up on my French this year)