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Monday, September 14, 2009

True Story, I just wish someone had videotaped it

This was around 2 pm today on the intersection of Franklin Avenue and Hollywood Blvd.

I was on one of my regular jogs/runs throughout the city, wearing my usual all black outfit w/beanie, as that is just the shit I like to wear when I run, K? great. fantastic. moving on.

3 cops, 1 somewhat fat, 1 really fat, 1 sort of young even I guess could be considered attractive in some standards, were all talking outside of their parked car.

Talking about what? I don't know. Maybe bitching about the fact that donut price has gone up since the recession.

So. There's the 3 of them, and the 1 of me, and I'm about to cross the street. Yea bla bla it was a red light and that little dude that glows on the "you may now walk" interactive crosswalk sign wasn't blinking on the other side of the street. But there were NO CARS. And by that I mean exactly that, NO CARS. The street I was about to cross was absolutely empty and the cross traffic was going forward in my direction. So, I continue running across the street. Not really ever occurring to me that I'm "sticking it to the man" with the cops being on the other side because I genuinely didn't think it was any big deal to be crossing a street with again, ZERO CARS on it.

Soon as I hit the pavement on the other side I shit you not, the somewhat fat cop reaches out and grabs my hand as I'm jogging past them. Like literally the bastard reaches out and grabs my hand interrupting my lovely gliding run and causing the right headphone to fly out of my ear. And that totally pissed me off right there because I HATE to be interrupted whilst immersed in any activity, Especially running, Especially while listening to one of my favorite songs at the moment (Just Like You Imagined-Nine Inch Nails). SO. Now that fattie has let go of my arm, and has me paused and panting on the sidewalk, I remove my hoodie and just stare at all 3 of them. One thing you must know about me, I rarely ever speak unless it is absolutely necessary in social situations, which usually drives people nuts, but that's just the way I am, not to piss anyone off, I just see no point in talking for the sake of empty chitter chatter. I guess my silence was having some huge effect on the 3 egos in front of me because fattie grabbed my hand Again and started pulling me towards their cop car. Generally, I'm a peaceful person. This was just a "wtf" moment. So I reacted, unintentionally, but instinctually. I made a sharp turn and moved my arm upwards, causing fattie's arm to fly off mine and hang limp at his side, to which, (men are such babies, geezus), the pussy I swear to the thanksgiving turkey, said "oww, you bitch!" and hugged his arm with his other hand (which I laugh at-because seriously, it was hilarious). So now the other two geezers are moving towards me, (is that supposed to be some intimidating tactic?), and the big fattie starts talking, "What the hell are you doing crossing the street on a red light?". To which I say, "dude. There are No cars."
And he spuffs, "You Saw there were 3 police officers on the other side of the street and you crossed anyway."

Me, "Yea, SIR, there were No cars on the street. That rule is more of a guideline, you know, to keep retards from dying."

Ok, I Probably shouldn't have said that, but this whole "we are the mighty powerful protectors of los angeles and you are a criminal for disobeying our worthy rule" thing that they were on was irritating me.

Big Fattie: "Ah so I see, you're a smartass aren't you. "

Me, "Wow. Congratulations! You have correctly identified an individual for being who they are. Didja learn that in cop school?"

Now that really pissed the 3 of them off. The sort of good looking one then goes up to me and says "I could arrest you right now".

to which I laugh and step closer into his face, "for what? Exercising my freedom of speech?"

I'm really wondering, and appalled when I think about this in hindsight why 1 girl, on a street, is being interrogated by 3 cops, in broad daylight, and NOT A SINGLE PERSON pulls over to check what the fuck is going on.

Ok so then Mr. sort of good looking pulls me over to the cop car, slams me against it, takes both my arms and squeezes them behind my back.

Yea I wasn't having none of that. I'm not trying to sound like a hardass here but for cops these guys were really pretty weak. I put pressure on my right arm and twist to the left, forcing His left arm to release his grip, and now we're face to face. At which point, ah, one of my proudest moments, I look him in the eye and say, "You can't arrest me for nothing and that just kills you, doesn't it." I REALLY , I mean REALLLLLY wanted to kick him in the nuts but that probably would have been a stupid thing to do. But I was tempted.

And now the 1st fattie who I guess has "recovered" from my oh-so-brutal beating of his arm LMAO comes closer and says, "another word you punkass and I'll lay a citation on you for crossing the street on a red light. And being dressed like you're going to a funeral."

Me: Laughing.

and laughing some more.

"Really? Damn that's some power man! I should have been a cop. You're gonna give me a citation for crossing a street with No cars on it, and then you're gonna tell me that I'm not allowed to wear whatever the fuck I want in expressing my right to Express myself, in this grand America that you're so apparently protecting?"

and then the sorta good looking one looks at me and says, "another word and we're writing you a citation."

And I say, "word".

Then gave a mocking military salute. And run. Run very fast.

K no I wasn't on drugs and yes I was sober. It was just one of those situations which more logically could have been solved with "yes sir. I'm sorry sir. fuck me up the ass sir. Sorry to disturb you sir." But I just couldn't say that. I'm sick of the control this supposed LAW SYSTEM has over people. Who just stand or sit there and take abuse because they are AFRAID of "what might happen".

you know what happened when I ran?

Absolutely nothing. I put my headphones back on pretty fast, I thought I heard a "hey where are you going?!!" but I'm not sure.

Nothing happened.

I ran and ran , up to runyan canyon and then I took a breath. half expecting them to be chasing me.


Moral of the story? I don't know . there isn't really a moral.

I guess, I don't know. mouthing off to idiots is fun. And.....they couldn't do shit, and they knew it.

so...yea. anyway.

another day in hollywood. woop de woop.

It's not any big deal. but just I wish someone had caught this on tape. it would have been pretty funny on youtube I think.

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