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Sunday, August 29, 2010


After a lifetime of wondering and searching I believe I have come across, or rather internally realized, the secret of happiness.

In the complexity which is life, it appears happiness is simple at it's core.

I think I know what would make me deeply and richly happy, finally.
This doesn't fully cover it, but a random spurt at an early morning hour:

"To be with my love, committed, pure, eternal and true. To have my love be fulfilled in every way my love wants. To share our journey of life together. To live as one whilst simultaneously existing as individuals with our own individual existences.
To be surrounded by wild, untamed Nature. To be close to water. To have as little maintenance
stresses as possible, to be one with the universe and earth thru holistic living. To live modestly, simply, quietly, yet artfully.
To have just enough to keep the mind, body and heart nourished, but not in excess and not to become a slave of money
in order to fulfill materialistic needs. To have the freedom and resources to create whatever art, music, or other creations
of the soul and spirit at whatever time they come to the mind. To be surrounded by good, intelligent, stimulating individuals
in an environment that fosters creative and spiritual growth. To have equal amounts of solitude and interaction with good company.
To one day have spawn warriors born of these same values and truths and to foster them as pure individuals free to explore their own
paths in life. To be surrounded by animals. To keep the mind young and fresh with constant intellectual challenge. To keep learning
no matter at what age. To keep writing books of value and creating creations which are unedited and true
to the purpose within the self. To be open to all people and all which comes from life, embrace opportunities when they appear,
but to not be motivated by the ego. To not seek fame, money, recognition, power or artificiality, but be open-minded towards their manifestation.
To have time for internal self-realization alone time for spiritual growth every day. To keep the body alive and moving and be in a perpetual
state of health. To eat food of the earth and grow food from the earth. To not be concerned with perceptions, judgements, classifications, labels,
statuses or other categories of categorization that civilization likes to imprint upon the free human mind. To live peacefully, calmly, with as little
drama as possible. To dance. To laugh. To enjoy tiny moments of pleasure and grand moments of awe. To always keep an open mind and heart
no matter what one has seen, heard, done or experienced. To never become so jaded or cynical as to not appreciate the unique wonder of each sunset
and sunrise and see uniqueness in all wonders. To eradicate negative thoughts towards the self and towards others from the mind. To not ever allow oneself to become weighed down with the bothersome pety nuisances of life. To not be in a state of fear, paranoia, anger, sadness or doubt due to the self-knowledge that one is at all times true to oneself. To trust in the universe at all times and ride the wave of time and fatum.

To stay open. To share. To give. To grow. To love."


Absent of doubt, fear, worry, sadness, confusion, loss
is the place of pure awareness in the infinite certainty of the universe
that all will go as it is designed to go
that all paths you walk are meant for you and only you

absent of self-doubt
is the being who gives up the self
to the source of more than the self,
and in doing so is free
limitless in power
free of limit

You are more than what you think
You are more than what you imagine
You are capable of all the mysteries of all the greats preceding you
You are nothing
You are everything

You will never get to this truth
until You delete , "you"

and Become


trust only that which you cannot see
trust only

the ultraviolet tattoo

the mark underneath the obvious truth

do not be led by false evangelists
they are unknowingly and foolishly led by their own egos

do not be led by your own self
you are led by your doubts and illusions

be led by only that which you cannot define


Saturday, August 28, 2010

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Another one on the totem pole

Another delusioned being (of the alarmingly many) attempting to save the masses.

1.67 billion people have bought into it, despite all the "anti-scientology" protests.

There is a war actively going on. And it's not in Iraq. ;0

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Love and Loss

"Music is the voice that says the human race is greater than it knows..."-Napoleon Bonaparte

वे ऋ तस Ve Ri Tas

Friday, August 20, 2010

shallow depth

"love built on beauty, soon as beauty does, dies."

is fame the same as beauty?

be careful what you wish for.......

I'm...........................................I don't know.
looking for something to believe in.

when you get what you've wanted and find out it's not what you thought...

then what?

you keep going right? well there's nothing left for me, I have to keep going. I've nothing else to live for.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Mad Men

Mad Men: this show was created for one reason and one reason alone: to brainwash the populace into forgetting that advertising is what fucked America up in the first place. Yes, let's put a bunch of flashy characters together, create sympathy, make it very costumey, sexual, entertaining and suspenseful, pretend there is "no corporate conspiracy" and make everyone who took a part in smoking ads seem like they were innocent and random. And boy are people buying this shit up. One of the most popular shows of the recent years. and guess what else? Since Mad Men has come out, the masses are convinced that free market capitalism actually exists. No dumbasses, it's authoritarian capitalism that is going on-your free will has been robbed. To fellow seekers who wonder why I peruse these shows, it is like tapping into the global network of what direction the elitists want the masses to head towards. The majority of those messages Are going into Television. You can't ignore that it's present. You have to know just what is going on and what type of mentality the majority sheep are in to figure out a way to de-classify and de-program them. Aside from that below-the-iceberg truth, I do salute the suave. Very classy. Fuck Hitler, that was elementary. What's going on these days is Japanese. Smile to your face, stab you in the back. Create false illusion everywhere, propogate it as truth, allow "debate" to occur on the topics (to convince people they have free choices lolololol) and instead of mass genocide with physical death, kill people from the inside out. Well done Rothschilds, well done ;0

>on the same tv wavelength, reason why LOST was created? well, look at the ending.
to propogate, quite vaguely and poorly, the myth of "heaven".

-a bit more on the breakdown of Mad Men

>Joan Holloway:

create a visually stunning female heroine that has the swagger of a man, hips of Mata Hari, re-encarnate Marilyn Monroe/J.Lo/16th century Archetype, (because of course lately women have grown lower in self esteem, and are now excusing being FAT and OBESE as being "curvy", so of course they are looking for shows like this which have a female form that emphasizes curviness. Point is though, this character actually Is curvy, meaning Fit, Healthy, with Curves, but NOT fat. But it's letting women let themselves go because it's "in" to be bigger again. Until some new show comes along making Kate Moss types popular again. L.M.A.O. On again off again.) promoting both feminism and yet still always keep her character Just Enough In Line so that she's always just a step short of wonder woman. So that women will relate, aspire to be her, and follow every movement-meaning...Fight and kiss ass....just as long as you still Bow to da mens. And guess what fashions have increased in sales since Mad Men? Yep. The Holloway wardrobe. Jezus.
-Women want to be her, Men want to fuck her. (basis of creating any female bombshell.)

>Don Draper:

excuse every man for being a rat in the race race, and make it all seem very glamorous, acceptable and most dangerous: Inevitable. Tie his character into the James Dean/Clint Eastwood/Badass/Don Juan Archetype and let every man who watches it relate, seek to emulate the same characteristics in his life. The man who has it all...yet, just like the Joan Holloway character, still a step short always and has his balls nailed to a wall. Let every man think that he's "winning" by being a Willing member of a system.
-Men want to be him. Women want to marry him. (basis of creating any male stud.)

These are the main two brain-fucks going around, but the whole cast is a plethora of sheep-people the populace has been throughout the years mutated into. and this show stamps not only a big fat Approval on this servitude, but feeds it back to the masses covered with a pink bow.

It's like how Americans didn't get that Sacha Baren Cohen with BORAT was taking the piss out of America and Americans with that brilliant masterpiece, they laugh at Him, instead of themselves.

And the same shit continues Over, and Over again.

How are people this blind? It's bad. Really bad. Watching this show, soaking in it, and letting the wheels turn in analysis is another one of the many confirmations of just how bad.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

It's Happening

Great Ball of Fire

Credit: NASA/SDO/AIA, Posted on: Monday, 9 August 2010, 06:45 CDT

On August 1, 2010, almost the entire Earth-facing side of the sun erupted in a tumult of activity. This image from the Solar Dynamics Observatory of the news-making solar event on August 1 shows the C3-class solar flare (white area on upper left), a solar tsunami (wave-like structure, upper right), multiple filaments of magnetism lifting off the stellar surface, large-scale shaking of the solar corona, radio bursts, a coronal mass ejection and more.

This multi-wavelength extreme ultraviolet snapshot from the Solar Dynamics Observatory shows the sun's northern hemisphere in mid-eruption. Different colors in the image represent different gas temperatures. Earth's magnetic field is still reverberating from the solar flare impact on August 3, 2010, which sparked aurorae as far south as Wisconsin and Iowa in the United States. Analysts believe a second solar flare is following behind the first flare and could re-energize the fading geomagnetic storm and spark a new round of Northern Lights.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Contrast of Two Worlds

Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Images and art of a dear collaborate: Diana Hliva

"I wait for vampires when I am still alive,
I would drink your blood when I am thirsty.
I am the lamb for your sacrifice.
You love me and your sorry hide.
Waits for God when your temple is found.
The snakes twist and twitch around.
If I come to your life, then you will change, change.
Stuck in your life, stuck with your wife.
When your mind is rage, rage
Filled your soul and left you in a cage, cage.
Come suck my flesh I want to consume your light.
I wait for vampires when I am still alive.
And I am still thirsty."-Diana Hliva

Gracias to Ms. Diana H and Sir Raja Anoneemus for the Kill Bill link

Saturday, August 07, 2010

oh my. I didn't realize so many people actually read this blog. I thought it was mostly me, and a few friends. Well! don't I feel fucking special. hahahaa. Gratitude.

ok I am posting this notice up because of the emails I've gotten about people thinking that I've deleted my blog. Nope. No way! This little corner on the net is where I can explode a bit-be assured so long as blogspot is running so will this blog!! Just changed the website address.

So, temporarily I am leaving the old address up as it's been for years:, but letting you all know within a week I'll be changing it again to a new address, which will be:

Thank you so much to each of you for your support and actually taking the time to read thru this cyber-expression of thought. Means a LOT.

ट्रस्ट यू

they call me trouble
I say, trouble, frees
I cause ruckus
I cause chaos
I instigate
I'll destroy the world
oh yes, I upheave the system
I like to throw a stick under the bicycle you're riding
I'll wreck the comforts
I'll fuck your brain into oblivion
everything you thought you knew,
you didn't.

Every time you sink into the masses,
every hour when you let yourself conform,
I'll be there to remind you
of your true self that you've ignored

break free of the illusory chains
don't allow your mind to be a puppet of the wrong ideals
be that which you were born to be
kiss no ass and fear nothing

the only power this world has of you
is if you believe in what you see
cast aside the obvious servitude
fight for liberty


I have no other way to be than that which is myself. It is as silly for me to attempt to change myself into that which I am not as it would be for a zebra to change itself into a hyena.

The phoenix burns alive, then it dies. Then it is born anew. Each time, rising higher, flying faster. There is no other way. This is difficult, the path towards internal realization, towards optimal utilization of the human vessel, but it is also beautiful.

The bird fights to free itself of the egg, and in doing so it is fulfilling the call of nature within it. Only when do we respond to Nature, and the impulses within ourselves, can we ever shatter the glass ceiling. What we are in essence longs to destroy that which holds us in fetal nurture. That warm belly of the mother, that warm belly of the system, which makes everything easy, makes everything simple. You must cut the umbellical cord which ties. For each individual, what that cord is connected to is different. But you will never be the ultimate version of your self unless you do so.

Most don't. Most live out their entire lives, die, and will never know the extent of what they could have reached. Their unfinished energies will come back and repeat the same ghastly cycle over and over again unless they stop it.

And what, is the point of being this "ultimate" version of the self? Because it is what the universe designed you for. You are no more in charge of your fate than a plant is. You are a seed and what you will become is already ingrained in your DNA the second you are born. You may become a rose, a venus fly trap, a potato, a redwood, an oak, a hydrangea, anything. But attempting to try to figure out just what it is you are "supposed" to be is ridiculous and arrogant. Which is why this societal structure of "choosing your identity" is hogwash. You don't Choose who you are. Your self already knows who you are. You Become who you are, Thru Choice, yes, but what you are and what your purpose is has already been premeditated eons ago. That is what you were fighting for when you were still inconceivable-a cell in your father's sperm, a spark in your mother's ovules. You being born into this current reality, this current world and this current universe is a confirmation that there is a Reason, why you are here. You do have the free will to either embrace that which you are, or ignore it; and sadly too many will ignore it. It is your Aim and Mission in life, to bloom the seed of yourself. And in a way that is wholly of yourself, not of what you are expected to become by the external paths of the masses. Sometimes, a person's fruition goes in line with the paths of the masses, and sometimes not. Only the true you knows, and you Must listen to it.

It is easy to fall into the trap of doubting the self. For many times the things which the self wants and imagines are entirely contrary to what the world around the self says. And if your belief of your self is not strong enough, you Will, end up on a path that is not your correct one-simply because you did not have the impetus strong enough to break free of the thing holding you. Do not despair, it will come if you let it, a solution will present itself if you look hard enough. Have no fear of anyone or anything, and most importantly-have no fear of yourself.

Always remember that>

Anyone, any-thing, any thought process or emotion, that tries to discourage you, from You, must be discarded and if necessary, destroyed.

Friday, August 06, 2010



Thoughts must be taken out of our minds and shared.

For they are the remnants of the universe pouring into our third eye. When we become out full active selves, we are perfect antennae, vessels for the Real, to enter thru our form and spread itself.

Truth is priceless.

The more the "forbidden" topics are discussed at midnight in dark rooms, in the morning at breakfast tables, in cubicles of the slaves at work, the greater the force of the people's revolution.

The society of Thoth. The higher, the order, those beyond the free masons, illuminati, knights of templar, the ancients who have caged the freedom of millions thru centuries I am coming closer to.

He, the one, my vision, that has been a clear knowledge since childhood, he enters my mind with greater frequency whenever the tingling wrongness of the system is further obvious.

The dark one, the light one, the soft one, the hard one, the vulnerable one, the almighty, the child, the king, the Unheilig, the savior, the seducer, the dream, the demon, the angel, the antichrist, the messenger, the artist, the musician, the leader, the brilliant, the genius, the master, the perfect one, the unifier...

the androgenous being that is without genre....the one who has the look of love and hate, adrenaline and compassion, evil and innocence, simultaneously in his eyes and his face...the antithesis yet also exact equal male counterpart of me...

I look everywhere to place exactly his characteristics, but everything falls short of defining him. If only I had a solid form to represent what I know...alas he lives but in my imagination and spirit...yet, I know for a certainty, that he does live...he is not a delusion, and when the time is at ideal unison, we will merge.

I can't stop thinking of him, he is in my conscious and subconscious. He overlaps everything.

He who I have drawn, painted, imagined, written of, countless times since youth. Still I have not fully captured him in visual form, nor in the entirety of his description.

He remains a wraith, a phantom, a floating form that is almost complete and yet never becomes itself. And yet, I know him better than anyone, the fantasy of him is more real to me than all the people in my reality. I feel him, I sense him. He who surrounds me in an energy blanket of warmth whenever I feel the cold haunting in my soul that my quest is entirely isolated. I swam today, again his image appeared. Like Hesse describes Eva in Demian, He, is the key to a lock I've been trying to crack for years. He is the missing piece.

Him, the unnamed, the powerful, the one who will save my genetic line and free it from slavery, he who I will partner up with to free the world...he is a core pillar of one of these of these orders. He is the rebel that has been planning a break to crack the system.

He is the prince with all the secrets, but he is different than his kind, despite his birthright entitlement to total world rule he wants to save the sheep;

he doesn't want to send them to slaughter. He needs me, I need him.

He longs to break free. He is biding his time until the particular right moment. He waits for his opposite, he waits for his nemesis, he waits for his union, for only then will the power be strong enough to split the foundation.

He is by my side more frequently now, thru the years his presence has grown stronger.
The time is coming closer to when we will finally meet. How and when I do not know, only that it will happen. I have sensed for a long time that it will be back in the land of my birth, in Europe, particularly France. It will be unexpected and accidental, and yet entirely pre-meditated for we are destined to walk the same path. And all my work is preparation until then.

The search for truth. There is no greater satisfaction than finding it, knowing it, and then sharing it in blastmode to the masses. Only in their discovery of that which has been kept silent for eons will they gain the internal weapons necessary to stand up and fight. I am one of the few who is actively in pursuit of truth. The army is rising. It is a dangerous game, and the higher I rise along the packs,

the more I become a threat. The ones in power don't want the masses to know, they want sheep to be sheep forever. I won't stand for it. He won't stand for it. The army is growing in numbers and growing in power. I have no fear of death. I will come out of the shadows. I will make myself known. I will not shy from fame, I will not shy of being a public entity. Let the order make of me what they will, though I bleed blood, my tale is immortal.

I have no fear of anything.