ME-1st Slideshow and MY ARTWORKS-2cd/bottom Slideshow

Chat Live!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I will be in New York (NYC) May 1-3

UPDATE: LOLOLOL.....err....lololol k so actually I won't be goin' to NYC this weekend due to BASTARDS Virgin Airlines!!!! long story...anyway... but um....All is still Groovy because today I am about to head to a promotional shoot...and tomorrow I am buying my new pat rat! High Five!!!! Niiiice!!!!

Monday, April 27, 2009


Some stuff I wrote during my recent trip to Malaysia. (Went for my Father's wedding in Bangladesh. Malaysia>Bangladesh>Malaysia>Taiwan>LAX). Took me almost a month to find the time to type it up! lol, but here it is. Read if you're interested. xoxox =0)



I am writing from my father's head office in Penang, Malaysia. He is the newly appointed C.E.O of the Research Institute for Chemical Cell Biology at University Sains Malaysia.

Obviously, this position brings an even greater level of responsibility with it than his already multi-layered tenured faculty status commitments with the University of Hawaii, Nankai (Japan), and Geological Nuclear Survey of New Zealand (which he entered into collaboration with a few years after I started university there.)

So, he is finishing up various meetings, his faculty & students are preparing for the "dog and pony" show haha that must be put on tomorrow for the Vice Chancellor of CCB at USM, as well as the Minister (one of the key investors for this center). I have just witnessed their presentation, and I am blown away almost to the point of tears. The science that is being done here, the broad visionary concept my father and his team have, the Humanity, Integrity and Spirited Passion along with Top-Notch Expansive Science, at CCB at USM is just too much for the human heart and mind to fathom. Such pride is within me, such Love, it is overwhelming. Ask me sometime about his research, I would Love to share with you. To pinpoint, Why it is so vital to the human race what his work involves, here are very brief bullet-points of what he does:

1) Anti-aging research > transforming the human conception that "death is the end", into preventative measures Against, yes, Death.
2) Papaya Genome sequencing > using the anti-oxidant properties found in papaya plants as the main ingredient in mass global bio-products (which this center will create as a residual to supply $$ funding) for third world citizens -at a low cost-who are unable to afford health supplements, to increase health. As well as an "immortal-impetus" type of drug for all world citizens.
3) Achondroplasia (dwarf disease) research, one of my dad's grad students will be the First human in the world to volunteer to have her genome sequenced, and cloned, in order to Cure this gene degenerative disease.
4) Hemoglobin (blood) research > my dad discovered a blood substitute a.k.a "fake blood" (which can be manufactured and distributed throughout the world) about 10 years ago. This research has been a bit dead after the hot-press after its discovery due to my dad's uneasiness with the mass consumerism a.k.a "corporate greed" of the biotech industry. He stopped all research on the project due to it. But now, with this new center, may be revisiting it. Can you Imagine, the possibilities, of having fake blood, for all people who Need it on this planet???!
5) Extremophile research >using extremophiles (bacteria who are able to survive in the most extreme conditions on this planet, from those living in say glaciers in Antarctica to acidic hot pools in Malaysia) in use of medical treatments. In laymen's terms, imagine, we due to global warming have a massive blow-out of all heat. My dad's research could save humanity with creating special treatments a human could take to Survive under such type of conditions.
6) Dengue fever> my dad and his collaborative team in Bangladesh have managed to isolate the key factor in the human genome which is susceptible to dengue fever (currently the largest killer of third world countries), and using bio-markers (genome, psychological, and pathological detectors within the human body), will be able to Cure it. They will be providing Free vaccines after FDA testing (thru various VC -venture capitalist funding) to first Bangladeshi population, then, continuing to other third-world countries.

Then Monday evening we are on the plane to Bangladesh to get Wedding boy married, at long last!!!

Well here I am, Le Grand Lilidork, performing my daughterly duties (as have been done since age 8), smiling like a puppet, and talking science, meeting with the top scientists and engineers of Malaysia, as well as my dad's good students.

Both the scientists and students are doing their best to convince me to abandon my Hollywood fantasies and continue my research here. My dad has adamantly made clear, "this" is mine (of course only if I work my ass off) whenever I decide to take up a position he has been offering me since last year.

I must confess, it feels wonderful to be surrounded in bio-tech mode, makes me miss my university days in the labs-only slightly though. Hollywood life still remains my Prozac. Science must wait until I am 40 or so, when my dad retires and no-one else could possibly be trusted to carry on his legacy, a noble one of both Science And Humanity.

So as we walk these beautiful halls together, I feel such happiness, joy and immense pride for and of my father. What a man. Wow.

The hallways of this institute have been specially designed by their graphics team (the main designer I am meeting this afternoon-looking forward to it), it is all Themed. From the entrance, the blue lighting underneath the white Aeon-Flux/J. Paul Getty Museum type architecture. Illuminating the science hub of Malaysia, you are greeted with a streaming genetic code, the building blocks of our life: ACGT (At-amine, Cyanine, Guanine, Thy-amine), surrounded by of course, a Scientist's Britney Spears: a double helix.

The continuing hallways which wrap around the building have walls which outline the human biological story. We begin with basic Biology; digitized snapshots of forests, termite samples ( we are using to create bio-fuel) , mud pools (soon to be used in face mask samples, products to finance the center and make it self-sufficient of investors and grants), microscopic shots of leaves, beautiful Malaysian flora & fauna.

We continue onwards to Proteomics & Genomics (my cup of tea), the labs which are pristine, equipped with the best instrumentation on the bio-market, perfect, in short, any molecular geneticist's wet dream.

And on the outside, again, code and intricate helium structures. Leading to the Organic Chemistry & Conference rooms. The wall swerves to the left and the 3D bio-visualization wing begins. Here we have your x-rays, super computers and coding rooms. There is a face of a man, cut into squares, with a prism of light shining forward in front of his eyes. This symbolizes Malaysia's "Vision of Science for the Future".

The caption under the counter , "Turning Inspiration into Reality."

We reach the women's bathrooms, my dad tells me they have been designed to Hilton 5 Star standard. After merrily prancing in, I can confirm this is correct. I suppose it's good to know that in case a young scientist here messes up with a chemical synthesis they can come in here and take a long shower, and a bath with sweet-smelling fragrances (complimentary of course lol).

Interesting tidbit about the bathrooms: In Malaysia, and in other Islamic countries, toilet paper is not used (unless you are in a place known to be frequented by white tourists,-due to many international scientists visiting the institute, yes, there is toilet paper supplied here). Normally though instead of toilet paper, In it's place you will find a shower hose. Yes, you clean yourself via shower stream. This is a much more hygienic, and tree-friendly way to live. If only America could wise up to this. Japan has a similar system with a bidet that is placed directly inside the toilet. Though I prefer the Islamic system a bit better because it allows you better control of where you, aim. Lol.

Past the bathrooms are further conference rooms, the pantry/food room, library..

.....oh, lol, Willa, the lead secretary just brought me some mineral water, such a sweetheart. She has 4 children, and yet somehow manages to rule this center with an iron fist, keeping all these crazy scientists in line with organized structure. For a woman to be educated, smart, employed in such a high-level institute, happily married, And a mother, is a real rarity in Malaysia (and any Islamic country for that matter). You go girl!......

After the library, there is the main audio-visual conference room, a breakthrough in video-conferencing technology for the world, and a room which will put Malaysia on the map for the revolution of new video-e/education wave which is taking over the world. From here, you can broadcast with perfect clarity, to any center in the world, and hold "star wars" like holographic conferences (like the Jedi Council) and conference sessions. This is where the "dog and pony show" will take place tomorrow and what these poor students scurrying hurriedly around like ants are practicing for. What makes this room so incredible is it's visual simulation power. You can perform experiments in-vitro. Meaning, instead of wasting millions of dollars performing an experiment in the wet lab, you can program the exact sequence and data into the massive super computer, which will re-configure everything into real-life simulation. You put on special 3-D vis goggles, and perform the entire thing (complete with simulated noises and simulated effects of what might Actually happen) in the comfort of an air-conditioned visual room. It's like doing science as a video game. And once you've perfected the experiment several times, you can then do the actual thing in the real wet lab. It's like what the FBI makes their recruits practice in diffusing bombs. This way, it saves a lot of money in mess-ups, and is a great safety precaution for students.

I feel a bit like Charlie in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Minus the chocolate, this center holds an equal amount of "surprising surprises".

Which now leads me to my overall impression of Malaysia. To surmise, I am in love. The nature, the culture, the people, the food (fresh Malaysian roti chennai is the best thing this country has invented in my opinion), the overall rawness and openness I feel in many other Asian countries is exemplified here. Malaysian life is both excitingly vibrant and yet family-oriented, a rare mix.

With this new center, the American business module and Humanitarian values my dad's team will bring, combined with the soul of Malaysian people and hardworking scientists aiming for a brighter future, will make quite the lovely cocktail.

I do understand why my dad wants to permanently base himself here. It fits him to a tee. I am here only 3 days and don't want to leave! Perhaps I can convince Stephen Spielberg to shoot a movie here.... that I will be starring Hey! Stranger things Have happened.....

Man, I don't want to go back to Cali.........

Another thing that is lacking in American culture, especially in the communication scene, is the way American males act and behave towards women. It's disrespectful, rude, and so...upfront. Whatever happened to Shakespearian times....and women as Muses....vs. Fuck objects. Grr. Malaysia is nice in that regard, women are still respected as Divine Goddesses. Bangladesh also..actually pretty much Every country except the US has men that treat women with more class. Yes we may all think the same dirty thoughts. But the ART of Living, is the mastery of disguising them. That's not falsitude, not a fake way of life. That is the beauty of elegance, grace, and most importantly, "artists tell the truth thru lies". -V For Vendetta. Advice to men everywhere: no self-respecting woman likes to be whistled at on the street like she's a dog. If your dick is all that interested, stop being a lazy ass and make some Effort.

Well, I will have to wrap up this mini-novella here.

Wedding preparations are being ticked off on a long sheet as planned. Family politics in Bangladesh (my humongous family in Dhaka likes to cruelly gossip -think E! + tabloids to the nth power) are a drama and stressing my dad out. But it will all be taken care of, I keep reassuring him. My position as his daughter has its perks. Besides being me, not to sound like an ass, I am the child of the front-runner scientist in Malaysia. I have political and personal "spin" power. It feels good to be able to use the respect people have for my father to his advantage in de-tangling the web of lies being spread about him, his fiancee, my new sister, and even myself in both Malaysia and Bangladesh.

Malaysian gossips are funny. They remind me of transvestites you see walking along Hollywood Blvd. , or around West Hollywood, at 3 am. Do you think we all can't see your shave burns underneath those 8 layers of makeup you have on? C'mon.

I hope Hollywood sunshine is lovely. It is boiling in Malaysia. And I am happy beyond all measure.

I am left at the airport, after a tearful and touching goodbye from my dad's crew, following impromptu lunch at McDonald's lol. Practically falling over by the weight of my father's new wife, and dream team's generosity (via Malaysian presents & Bangladeshi saris), I am now about to begin my 22 hour (Penang>Kuala Lumpur>Taipei>LAX) journey back to the United States of America, a name which only recently with Obama's victory I could really define as United. Am I looking forward to it? Somehow yes, somehow no. Duality is a basic element of nature. A giant in an Asian country...., I walk around the shops, exploring all the lovely Malaysian charms found in the Duty Free shops. Walking fast to avoid the stares of white businessmen hoping to buy me a coffee or other such nonsense. No. I am not impressed nor inclined to be witness to your bling, your business deals or your first class seats. I'm all that on my own. I decide to purchase some obscure Martini base alcohol from a liqueur & cigarettes shop. They ask me, as most all do in Malaysia who I come across, "wow,....where are you from, what are you doing in Malaysia?" Well, what should I tell them? I'm a vessel...I'm a being.....I live and breathe and think....somehow my life has taken me to strange places....somehow at only 22 I've seen more than most do in a lifetime.....I've traveled the world 3 times over.....I've made love to thousands....I've soaked in the mysteries of life and the grandiose nature of the universe....I've loved...I've lost....I've bled.....I've died.....I've been reborn.....professionally I've worked in many countries....made business deals with men that most fear....modeled for intriguing photographers and designers...studied in the most unique places.....But no. I keep my answer simple.

,"I live in Hollywood. My father is the CEO of a research institute here, I'm visiting him."
"Oh, wow!
So you come here every few months?"

Sure. Why Not.

"How wonderful! Well we hope to see you beautiful lady in our shop again. "

Sure. gotta cream the rich tourists with flattery.

"You bet! Thanks."

Sign Receipt.

That's life , aint it?

If you're interested in further information about USM/CCB or my Father, here are a few links:< My dad's lab< My dad =0) < University of Sains Malaysia < USM mission statement/vision for the future

Useful Malay phrases:

aku chinta kabu-I Love You

tare me ka-se - Thank You

tatare - yummy tea/milk/chai type drink

aku rindu kamu - I Miss You

aku ben chi kamu- I Hate

saiiya aku (softer tense)

awa- You

saiiya ma-af - I'm Sorry

aya/ bapa - Father

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I am a Black Panther

You Are a Black Panther

You see through people. You understand others' motives and plans.

You have a knack for predicting the future. You just know what people are going to do.

People are attracted to you. You are naturally able to influence other people's thoughts.

You have the charisma to be a beloved guru or dictator. It's all about how you handle it.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

My Shoot Today in Westwood-Photographer: Ron (You Da Bomb =0)

My TWO FAVOURITE Shirts (both from > who have unfortunately closed their doors =0( )


I am who and what I am. Love it? Hate it? I don't care. I aint changin' or being something I am not for ANYONE.



MUWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH . You know it's true. Wink. ;0)))

View the rest of my pix from my shoot today here =0)

Or just click the Title Link above and you'll be magically transported thru....thru the wonder that is....The Internet....


Runaway Train

From One Tree Hill:

Debra: You know, the first time I left Dan, I still believed that I could get out.
You know, just pack my things
and escape to a new life.
But, you can't.
You just put a new face on the same loneliness

What happened to us Keith? How did we get so,


Keith: We fell in love.

And at some point, the people that we love forgot to love us back.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

watch me dance =0)

Hi guys, so , this is Slightly better. Please note the "Slightly".

More vids coming soon. Stay tuned and thanks for your support!!!!

Muaaaahhhh xoxooxo

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Remember The Name

"It takes......10% Luck, 20% Skill, 15% Concentrated Power of Will, 5% Pleasure, 50% Pain, and 100% Reason to Remember The Name".-Fort Minor . Disclaimer: This is FORT MINOR'S SONG AND THEY OWN ALL THE COPYRIGHTS. Remember: LILIANA ALAM. Hollywood Model. Actress. Published Author. Musician. Artist. Entrepreneur (CEO, Empire Enterprises). Dancer. Inventor. Masseuse. SUPERHERO. Visit Liliana's Official Website:

Hey everyone. So within this video are a few random clips of my dancing. Well, not exactly dancing, more like just jammin'. Better quality vid/reel of my REAL dancing will be up soon. I told y'all this would come out-the clips thing, so here it is. Enjoy lol. =0p

This is the YouTube version> had to audio swap the song cuz YouTube has a stupid copyright ban on "Remember The Name".

The song used in this video I switched to, "Build It Up"-feat. Max One.

So....the photos, dancing, looks a bit off in this vid, but it still works (overall theme.....yea the lyrics to this song are dope just listen).

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Pirate on Hollywood Boulevard (sorry, I won't tell you his name)

There is a man.....

on the boardwalk....

He's got long black hair and these intense, piercing eyes

seducing you as you just try, just you Try and walk past him

at least that's the version of himself that he'll invent.....

behind those black locks is a baby blue blonde

a child reachin' for his soul in the stars

I kinda know him, kinda buddy-buddy, kinda we made talk.....and...Dot....Dot...Dot....

ha-ha, you know I can't reveal him to you.

I spy on him sometimes as I wander thru

the maze of Hollywood and all its sparkling lights.

I watch him seduce the millions with his smiles.

A sense of pride, a sense of joy, I levitate as I watch him soar.

It takes a fistful of ambition

A firecracker of dreams

A solid determination

And a hustlin' swagger from the street

To make it Hollywood.

To live the life, that you've seen in the movies.

To be in the tabloids, to be hounded by the paparazzi,

to get all the dinero, to be the one who millions envy.

I see the man.

he don't see me.

He don't know that I silently pray for him.

I wish him well, I wish him hope.

As he parades on the boulevard.

A stolen pirate costume.

A charm with the tourists.

They slip him a $20, he hands them his soul.

See they don't know, how deep he feels

They don't know about the screenplay on notepaper he keeps inside his leather peals

They don't know he's sacrificed it all,

just for a spot,

to be noticed,

on this here Boulevard.

they haven't seen him rise up in the early dawn.
let go of the comforts of sleep,

just to make sure he doesn't waste a single day here.

They don't know that he has no home
he wanders the streets at night

to save every penny for a film studio someday of his own

he may make love to many
i only wish some of them make love back

this pirate of mine, he's got a lot more within him than can ever be measured in hags


they don't see his depth.
they don't see his soul.
they just see a pirate with a sword for a picture
that they can keep as a memory when they go back home.

those people you see, those nomads on the street,

the Spiderman, Pirate, Catwoman, Marilyn

The Elvis, the Scissorhands, the Saw, the China man

they're all here in Hollywood........entertaining you cuz they Do give a damn.

so don't be a snitch.

don't tell the world that you know.
just tip them in silence
and let their sad little smile raise a moment of peace in you.

oh you, oh you, oh you. I laugh in amusement, my brother, my compadre in this race.

You go get that dolla.

You go win today's battle.

Dressed in rags with your dreads, I know you'll one day make millions.

I'll keep watchin;, sometimes , lookin out for you

up on top of the galleria.

Every day you're out there. Every day you show up on time.

You make all the girls blush.

And you make me shine with pride.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Love Story-Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;

Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me - they're tryin' to tell me how to feel;
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say "Yes.'"

Oh, oh.

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet - you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

'Cause we were both young when I first saw you...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Curse of Infatuation

"To him she seemed so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell". Gabriel Garcia Marquez



In the words of Borat as he waves farewell to his chicken friend,

"Go! Live Your Life!"

update on Tattoo status:

Thanks to the kind and thoughtful advice of some wise close advisors (who somehow LOLOLOL from all different corners of the globe and industry have all reached the same conclusion), I have decided Not to get a tattoo. I'll have to wait til I get famous.

Can't be damagin' my model skin

Monday, April 13, 2009

Top 5 Things I Love about Living in Hollywood


: I came to Hollywood to make it all a reality. And every day, I get closer to my Goal.
The DREAM, of everything I want, just in my reach, and yet so far away, is why I Love Hollywood and Love Living IN Hollywood.

2. Everyone here is in the business

: If you walk down Hollywood Blvd., you are GUARANTEED to find a Musician, Actor, Comedian, Model, Museo, "Entertainer" within 2 seconds of yourself at any time.

Having spent a large majority of my life being surrounded by Academics, being so close to, and at the heart of a city where Everyone is crazy and artsy is food for my soul. Seeing Musicians strolling around with their guitars, Comics on street who do stand up right on the boulevard-some of them pretty funny and make me laugh, Actors that I can share my love of drama for, Models-being amidst fellow Amazons is Awsum!!!! I no longer feel like a freeekazoid!!! Well, no, I will always feel that way, but, being surrounded by my sistas makes me feel good. And even though, yes, we are all fighting for the same thing, I still feel so much LOVE and PASSION amongst everyone who lives here. Like me, the majority of people here are risk-takers. People who gave up Everything, to come to Hollywood to fight for their dreams. What better city could I be in? NYC is like that too and it rocks, but I like the weather in LA. To sum up, As Bret L. Thompson says , "if you were to throw a nickel with your eyes closed onto Hollywood or Sunset Blvd., you would be 98% guaranteed that whoever it hits will be a Musician."

3. Hollywood Boulevard

: I have dreamed for many years of being one of the stars on the walk of fame. I walk the street every day now, it is right next to my apartment. And the euphoria, the historical, epic, significance of where I am never ceases to amaze me. Even the jaded and numb must admit, Hollywood Boulevard is still one of the grandest streets in the USA.

4. The Money (and the Networking)

: Maaad easy to make Maaaad cash here. Nuff said. ;0

5. The Cultural Diversity

: Everything from hot women -so cal women are the level of beauty that All women should be at. It's nice to finally be at clubs where women dress like women. Now if only the Men would step up their game. To museums, a gazillion restaurants, ethnic food, cheap thai massages, sophisticated areas, rich bev. hills, ghetto south central, the best of the best, the worst of the worst, awsum tattoo parlors that have siiiiic clothing, vintage shops, street performers, healthy lifestyles-people here are In Shape and stay Healthy, I mean you have everything from the skater punk who never finished high school to the harvard grad who came here to be an entertainment lawyer and make mega bucks.

LA is awsum in the sense that it is a great melting and mixing pot of all types of ideals.

It can also be tempting, and a distraction to those without focus. So, anyone thinking of coming to LA to pursue your dream, I definitley recommend it. BUT. Make sure you have a clear-cut PLAN OF ACTION before you come here.

Top 5 Things That Piss Me Off Living in Hollywood

1. Anorexically Skinny emo musician dudes

: wearing even skinnier tight black jeans, with a long bang of black hair across their right or left eye, murking around listening to wa-wa whiny music, skull & crossbones tattoo on their wrists, probably freakin 17 yr. old trust fund babies. YEA. GO HOME AND WHINE TO MOMMY AND DADDY ABOUT HOW "HARD" LIFE IS. AAGGGGHHH!!!! Get some originality jeezus. And please, please, please, get off Hollywood Blvd. You really ruin it for me.

2. Little dogs.

: People who HAVE and insist upon Walking their Little dogs. Especially up Runyan Canyon-where they run in front of me and I am forced to either hop over them or glare at their owners while I have to pause my run. GET YOUR FUCKING DOG AND YOUR NOISY KIDS OUT OF MY WAY. GO MOVE TO THE SUBURBS. Ok, like my magical friend Dynamic said, "If the shit of the thing is bigger than half the size of the dog, IT AINT A DOG." GRRR. I cannot get over the stupidity of the little dog syndrome in LA. Ok so Paris Hilton gets a chihuahua and now all of you suddenly think it's "cool" to walk around a piece of fur that looks like a damn pigeon? Seriously. I'm so close to murdering one of these "dogs", I mean I could just step on the damn thing.

3. The Traffic.

: And more importantly, the way people drive here. Are you all trying to get killed?!!! Life is so shitty and your dreams are pissing away whilst you work as a waitor in some depressing joint as cougars stare at your ass, and so because of that you insist upon NOT SIGNALLING and just running red lights in an attempt to kill yourself?!!! SAVE US ALL THE TROUBLE. This is America. You can buy a gun at Harry's for like 30 bucks. Go buy one, and shoot yourself in the head. If I see you on the road again I'll do it myself.

4. Models who are thinner than my eyelashes.

: I have seen far too many of you at castings. Please, PLEASE. I am begging you, eat a sandwich. At least a piece of cheese. Every runway gig I've been to this year, the majority of you have no ass. It's gettin' really old staring at your bones whilst waiting backstage to go on. So please, EAT. I don't care if your agent told you that looking like a clotheshanger is hot. I'm telling you , as a professional, paid, agency represented Model, it's NOT!!!!!!!!!

5. Everyone here is in the business.

: Actors, Musicians, Museos, Models, Comedians, Clowns, all of you's. When I'm not working-which granted, is rare-but sometimes I am free, I would just like to meet some simple, down-to-earth, positive people, who are not celebrity obsessed, don't always talk about how much money they are making, how awsum they are, what project/gig/whatever bla ablablabalbalbal they are up to whilst looking down on other "civillians" in their mock designer sunglasses. See #2 in my Top 5 of things I Love about living in Hollywood too though.

Psychiatry, An Easter Bunny, Stalkers and Retail Therapy

Lol my Easter was quite...interesting. I went to see an exhibit on Sunset Blvd. called "PSYCHIATRY-AN INDUSTRY OF DEATH", sponsored by the International Citizens Commission of Human Rights. The exhibit's (which by the way is YEARLONG so please, if you live around here like me-GO!!!!!! It is a good way to spend a few hours. The basic tagline is "Find out how clinical trials are spun, drug side effects buried and how mental disorders are not discovered, but created in committee and marketed to the public."-it was really great. Quite biased info, with a large Booming (think of movie theatre trailers) voice in all the video presentations-with haunting twilighty music, but still, interesting. I always pass by it, and just never have the time to go see the exhibit so finally made a point to go.

It brought back some....very vivid memories. I really want to write it out, write out in detail what happened to me when I was 13, sometime when I have the time. The exhibit caused a lot of pain and anger to be unfurled in me that hasn't been in my mind for quite a while. For me, it touched on a very personal note, those who know me, will know why. But for anyone who has no experience with psychology, psychiatry, mental disorders or any of such, it is still a really great place to visit to learn about the medical community in general. There are a lot of factoids/historical tablets on the walls which you could easily spend a whole day just reading.

And then, some random dude creeped the hell out of me with following me for 5 blocks. YES FIVE BLOCKS. At first the library was closed, so he was like, oh is it closed? and I said yea. And he's like what's ur name. And I said my name is "not interested". happy easter. and he said, aw but I was supposed to spend easter with my family , and now I'm all alone, can I buy you a pizza? And I said no, I really don't feel like being around people right now. And he was like, aw, c'mon don't be like that I'm not a pervert. And I said, No. Please excuse me, I really have to get going.

And then, I just walked fast down the street. A block later, just to make sure, I look back, and THERE HE IS. JUST STROLLING BEHIND ME, and the little mother fucker WAVED to me.


Anyway that was another impetus to go to the exhibit, to get him off my trail. ick.

BUT. get this.

After I leave the exhibit, oh wow, the sunshine was damn bright, lol.

But yea, so I'm walkin' along Sunset again, and now A DIFFERENT DUDE just starts staring at me. I mean I get that all the time-not to be arrogant just stating the truth-but I mean this guy was REALLY just, STARING at me. So I just pass by him trying to ignore it . I'm on my way down Vine to the Subway/Metro and when I'm crossin the street, I see the dude has gotten up and is now following me.

At this point I'm kinda creeped out because he does NOT look friendly. So I take my pepper spray (I CARRY THAT EVERYWHERE I GO IN LA) out of my bag and clutch onto it like it's my finger, and start sizing the dude up from far away.

I actually kind of do that with anyone I meet: its kind of just automatic-size up what I think it would be like to fight them, their potential strengths, weaknesses, what side they lean more to, what their stance would be like, whether I should be defensive or aggressive, and ultimately, how to beat them.

There wasn't much I could see about the dude, but I could tell he was a straight shooter, pretty simple. The "man" type, who always stands leaning to the right, punches with a curve, usually too aggressively and so his ankles are the place to target to get him off balance as his entire weight goes into his right hand-oy-stupid fighters-so anyway, as I'm plotting out the potential fight which may occur in my head, I'm almost at the subway.

And then, jeezus I mean this thing scared the heck out of me,

a freakin EASTER BUNNY is rising up on the escalator. WTF and LOLOLOLOL. A grown man, dressed in an Easter Bunny suit. It was seriously, the funniest shit I have seen in a Loooong time. I mean I cannot explain how hilarious this was. It was the corner of Hollywood and Vine, around 2/3 pm, tourists around, also locals, and the mood was kind of festive with Easter, but still , it was nowhere That festive. And all of a sudden there is this Bunny just coming off the escalator-the subway exit.


What a good easter. Ya gotta love livin' in Hollywood.

I was bummed out Victoria's Secret was closed, I really, really wanted this one particular item and I don't want to order it online cuz it takes way too long to get here!! GRRRr... I will check today.

And yea whats up the library being closed on Easter? Bastards.

Well, hope your Easter was very Eastery , and hope you spent it with the ones you Love.

I wish I could have!!!!!

Oh, btw, lol, I didn't finish the story.

Right, so the 2cd creepy stalker dude.

Ok, so after staring at the Easter Bunny for about a minute, as he waltzed his way onto Hollywood Blvd.-the subway side, I look back to see if the dude is there, and thankfully, he wasn't.

So, I guess the Easter Bunny was really a guardian angel.

Thank you, anonymous Easter Bunny man.

But , of course, you do realize,


You can see me here below, this was when I tried to assasinate Dubya in 2004. Unfortunately, my mission was not completed because I was distracted by all of the yummy eggs they gave me at the white house. DAMMIT. Control your hunger, imbecile.

Ok ok I forgot another part of the story: Retail Therapy =0)

Stuffs I bought which yes, material shit don't mean nada, but this stuff made me Hapeeeee

-Risky Business (my fav. movie)
-an awsum shirt with Stewie from family guy on it with the words "You Imbecile!"-got it on some skater shop across from the Pig N'Whistle on H Blvd.

-yummy fresh sandwiches at Fresh & Easy
-2 posters from Virgin music store >a Trainspotting one, and an Albert Einstein one "The greatest thing we can experience is the Mysterious, for it is the source of all true art, and all science."

-a roll of tape>to u know, put up the posters. lol.
-a bottle of J.D Thomas's Coffee Liquer-I have never tried it. I like to constantly try new things. I think it will be like a very strong version of Baileys-except it's not milky white-its straight up Liquer.

so ya. Retail therapy is niiiice.

I wanted to get these 2 specific books from the library but bastards was closedddd.

-The Epic of Gilgamesh (mankind's first historical literary account of a hero's journey to achieve physical immortality)
-Fantastic Voyage: Live Long Enough to Live Forever-by Ray Kurzweil (man I wanna meet this dude)

=0(. oh well, some other time. maybe today. though I doubt it, not enuf time.

Well as you may know, one of my other aims in life is to become Immortal.

Good luck!

Oh, and this is one of the images which will soon be on my left wrist. I am planning on getting a Tattoo-my First Tattoo, very soon.

This is the ancient mythological symbol of Phoenix. It symbolizes re-birth, hope, and immortality. Those who bear it are marked with unsurpassed beauty and excellence>meaning one who cannot be equalled/no match. It is the symbol of reborn idealism/hope.

I also will put my scientific emblem which I invented years ago on my wrist. I will post up a pic of me with my new tattoo as soon as I get it.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

Liliana Tidbits

Favorite Music:--------------------------------------
My Top 10 tracks I am likely to listen to at anytime, for specific reasons, and random reasons:

1. Adrenaline-Gavin Rossdale
2. Eptesicus-Hans Zimmer
3. Waltz of the Flowers-Tzchaikovsky
4. Swan Lake-Tzchaikovsky
5. Storm-Vanessa Mae
6. Kiss The Rain-Billy Meyers
7. Weak and Powerless-A Perfect Circle
8. All That Could Have Been-Nine Inch Nails
9. Requiem For a Dream Suite
10. Maya's Theme-Kama Sutra

In general:

Besides ME: Wumpscut, Nine Inch Nails, Our Lady Peace, Rachmaninov, Switchfoot, Vanessa Mae, Pussycat Dolls, Justin Timberlake, Miles Davis, Al Jerou, B. B. King, Madonna, Tchaikovsky, Dave Koz, Michael Jackson, Alizee, Britney Spears, Gavin Rossdale, Eminem, Bush, A Perfect Circle, System of a Down, 30 Seconds to Mars, Keiko Matsui, DNA strand music, and EVERYTHING else.

currently feeling:

Slumdog Millionaire, The Dark Knight, The Last Samurai and Twilight soundtracks


"Right Here, Right Now"-Fatboy Slim
"Eyes on Fire" - Blue Foundation
"The Fear"-Lily Allen
"Not Enough"-Our Lady Peace
"Maussan and Escape"-A.R. Rahman > from Slumdog Millionaire
"I Want You Back"-NSync (Don't Hate!!! You KNOW you was blastin' that when you was 12)
"The Thrill is Gone"-B. B. King
"Kuch Ta Kua He"-from Kal Ho Na Ho
"Red Horse"-The Jimi Hendrix Experience
"It's All Over But The Crying"-Garbage
"I Could Fall in Love"-Selena Quintinilla Perez
"Takin' Back My Love"-Enrique Iglesias
"The Final Charge"-Hans Zimmer/The Last Samurai
"Right Where It Belongs"-Nine Inch Nails
"Rehab"-Rihanna the VIDEO feat. Justin Timberlake

Favorite TV Shows:--------------------------------------
Dark Angel, Smallville, The L Word, Discovery Channel, National Geographic Channel, Ya Leaubleu Tebia, Charlie Rose: 60 Minutes, Summer Heights High, Chto Tye Dumayesh, Trigger Happy TV, Documentary Channel, La Femme Nikita, The Office (British And American version),

Favorite Movies:---------------------------------------
ok my Top 10 at the moment (this may change tomorrow):

1. Don Juan De Marco
2. Risky Business
3. The Matrix
4. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
5. The Star Wars Hexology
6. The Silence of the Lambs Trilogy
7. Requiem for a Dream
8. Phenomenon
9. Meet Joe Black
10. Slumdog Millionaire

Risky Business, The Mosquito Coast, Pirates of Silicon Valley, Snatch, Don Juan De Marco, Phenomenon, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, Willard, The Silence of the Lambs trilogy, The Star Wars Hexology, Lolita, The Departed, A Bronx Tale, Space Odyssey 2010, Planet of the Apes, Slumdog Millionaire, Twilight, Immortal, Titanic, Queen of the Damned, Pakheeza, Pride and Prejudice, August Rush, Malena, The Machinist, WALL-E, Kil Bill Vol. 1 And 2, The Wisdom of Crocodiles, The Anatomy of Hell, Anatomie, Amelie, Children of Men, Mamma Mia, Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love, Entrapment, Meet Joe Black, What The Bleep Do We Know, Waking Life, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, All Disney animations, Anne of Green Gables, Donnie Darko, Reservoir Dogs, The Matrix, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Fight Club, Aeon Flux, Underworld Evolution, Devchata, Ogon Voda y Medneye Trube, Swept Away, Cat People, Vanilla Sky, The Man Who Fell To Earth, Koyaanisqatsi, Pi, Requiem For A Dream, Cheloveck Amphibia, Femme Fatale, The Dreamers, The Edukators, Run Lola Run, The Princess and the Warrior, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, Gia, Kal Ho Na Ho, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, The Last Samurai, Hero, anything else which twists the mind, heart, body, funny bone, or soul

Favorite Books:---------------------------------------
My top 20-just way too many brilliant works to make into top 10 (this top 20 may change next week):

1. Demian-Herman Hesse
2. Narcissus and Goldmund-Herman Hesse
3. The Giver-Lois Lowry
4. The Third Eye-Lois Duncan
5. The Catcher in the Rye-J.D. Salinger
6. Soon I Will Be Invincible-Austin Grossman
7. Kelly + Viktor -Nial Griffiths
8. The Secret-Rhonda Byrne
9. Nausea-Jean Paul Sartre
10. Metaphysics-Aristotle
11. The Art of Using Your Mind-T. A. Waters
12. The Fantastic Mr. Fox and other short stories-Roald Dahl
13. The Egyptian Book of the Dead (Ka-Ra)
14. The Kama Sutra Vatsayana-trans. by Sir Richard Francis Burton
15. The Great Gatsby-Francis Scott Fitzgerald
16. The RULES
17. Jeffery Gitomer's Little Black Book of Connections: 6.5 Assets for Networking Your Way to RICH Relationships
18. Living Next Door to the God of Love-Justina Robson
19. Flatland-Edwin A. Abbot
20. Born Into Light

Besides ME (published author of 2 books)>, everything by Herman Hesse, Jean Paul Sartre, J.D. Salinger, Into the Land of the Unicorns-Bruce Coville, Franz Kafka, Kierkegaard, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Socrates, William Shakespeare, Ayn Rand, Kahlil Gibran, Walt Whitman, William Wordsworth, Emily Dickinson, Slyvia Plath (especially The Bell Jar), Robert Kiyosaki, the "Idiot" books, C.S. Lewis, Isaac Asimov, EVERYTHING.....

Favorite Quotations:---------------------------------------
"Sometimes in life, you just gotta say, What the Fuck!"
-Tom Cruise, Risky Business

"Don't play games with the ones who love you. Because I say here Boy: I Love You, I'll Kill You."-"I Love You, I'll Kill You"/Principles of Lust/Enigma

When you have no way to escape Fear, you cease to be Afraid......
Live Without Fear!

"What you dream is already your reality. You have to believe in it enough to see it."

"A genius is someone who aims for an invisible basket, scores, and is then told by others he is delusional."

"1 hair on your head is not enough, but 1 in your soup is too much"- Albert Einstein on relativity

"Many starving for bread. Many more starving for Love."-Mother Theresa



"It is Written." -Slumdog Millionaire


Friday, April 10, 2009


I will take you.....desecrate you......and you Will Succumb to ME

To Nature, I am ....unknowable.....

but YOU, you may call me


Thursday, April 09, 2009

Let me show you what crying is. Just look in my eyes.

What I am living every day is the realization of one dream. And the death of another.

The rising of my fame. "woohoo Liliana TheAI" .
the end of my love. "R.I.P Helms and Liliana 4 ever: (turns out "forever" is only 5 years.) "

hello. and goodbye.

what is there to say.

there is nothing to say.

lift your hands to the sky.


just cry.

and Then., after all the crying......

Get up.


Know what your purpose is and why you are alive.

And always remember:

LOLOLOLOL!!!!! So who WAS Walt Whitman Really?? hmm...

Click the title link > LOLOLOLOL!!!! to be transported to the original link

"I don't care what Mr. Farlow says. This is an A+ paper in my books."