The Worst Enemy

there is a darkness bubbling
boiling in my veins
there is a madness devouring
everything I've gained

this psychosis has lost me everything
there is no-one and nothing left
I have burned the bridges to my family
my soulmate, my best friends

I wander as a nomad
a leaf from one post to the next
you might see me shining in the sunlight
something once of promise, something brilliant

but

I have shot a bullet into all of my dreams
I have stood in silence as they fell, bleeding
I have witnessed the crash of everything, stared my demise in the eye
what I have done is irreversible, what I am left with is an end


it is not a drug addiction
not a stain that is easily seen
it is not a conscious thought
just something always in me


if only everyone I love
could know that I love them
I must kill off this sickness
before it kills off me