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Sunday, April 18, 2010


There was once an artist sometime in the 17th century who created two sculptures. They were completely identical to each other except for the material which he used to sculpt them. He purposely did this to represent the deeper meaning of what the titles of these sculptures were. One he made from marble, the other from clay. Only one of his sculptures still remains today, the other cracked apart and decayed. The marble one is on display in some national historical museum, it was the one called "Hope". The other one was called "Dream" (not in the I Dream at night type of dream, but the Dream/s/Vision/s people have for their lives).

This is a significant cornerstone of the whole Perestroyka era after the fall of Communist Russia in which the best of our country was demolished. And it also applies universally across the board about life.

:Dreams can be crushed, faded, and die.
but Hope is Eternal, Timeless and can never be destroyed.

I learned this from an awesome exclusively all Russian, all-the-time channel that broadcasts 24/7/365 from NYC.


Yesterday I walked 30 miles. 15 miles from start to the end of the trail, and back.
My legs felt like oak trees, my butt felt like steel and my entire body felt like it was going to collapse. The only thing that kept me going was the belief that I would come to the end/finish line, eventually, and to hold out until I did.

"you don't quit when You want to quit, you quit when the guerilla quits." A battle tactic from an old Military handbook.


....people react and respond to you according to whatever "mask" you are wearing.
but what if you're wearing the wrong mask in front of the wrong people?
what if someone who sees you as tough really needs to see you as innocent in order to be closer to you? what if someone who sees you as weak just needs to catch a glimpse of your strength?
how do you ever know who really is close to you or who knows you, when all what others see is whatever reflection you're putting on.....
has anyone ever seen the real you? ever?
how do you know if they have?

a friend last year told me that in general, people hardly ever know what others truly think or feel about them. because the majority of what we feel and think is inexpressable and highly complex. it rarely can be measured in words, images or even emotions. the majority of what we think and feel about people we either keep to ourselves or we tell to everyone but those people. someone may love you infinitely and think you're the world but you'll never ever know it. how ironic! this is part of the self-defense mechanism necessary for survival....but sometimes it backfires. if only life had a constant 1st person narrative like in films, where you are given the gift of omnipotence and are able to see what everyone is thinking and feeling, all which is expressable and all which isn't.

If only the internal could be written on your skin without you forcing it or having to be obvious...If only the people that you want to see the real you could truly see the real you ...

that's the evanescent and fading dream....

but there's always Hope

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