Live Your Life

I am really amazed and hurt by the lack of support i am getting from my family, and from people in general. Everyone has their own issues. Nobody fucking gets that I am here, on a mission, to fucking change the world. And I have ZERO support from them. No understanding or consideration, only blame and accusations, insults and judgement.

It is pretty lonely at the top.

Because people are jealous. they are jealous and they are mean.

And I think, I feel, I have, and am sacrificing everything, for Hollywood. For my goals.

For my dreams. and it doesn't HAVE to be this way, but that is what everyone is making it out to be. Because I simply do not have time to keep my sanity, and be able to call and text and do all these things for all of these people.

I am rising so fast, so crazy fast, in such a short amount of time, and already have been involved in Amazing things, thanks to the help of some truly incredible people. And I am grateful and blessed. Looking forward to rising higher and higher. At 22...to have accomplished everything I have...no offense but it's unheard of. And that's not arrogance. That's full awareness of who and what I am.

But to the rest of you,

I am thinking of just cutting off people, period. This is the reason with family.

I mean I felt so deep, wanted to connect, wanted to share, want to talk about all the amazing things that I've been involved in, that I've achieved, and none of them are there to listen to me, to support me. Wanted to truly Give, whatever I've been getting. To share and radiate and live in the light with others. But instead of being able to ride along WITH me, when I am successful, people either want something from me, they are mad at me for not spending enough time on them, they get mad at me, or they are jealous.

I have nobody.

When I need it, nobody is there. When THEY need it, and I simply CANNOT be there, then I get accused and blamed. and all of a sudden I'm a monster. But when I do something great, then all the assholes worship me. I'm sick of it.
Honestly. its really fucked up.

helms too, that is fucked up. I have chosen this existence for myself, so who am I to bitch about anything. I chose it. It's just....wow. Shocking the lack of understanding and consideration there is in people. I am seeing....very quickly...who is full of shit and who is real. And there are very few who are real. Most ACT like they are gold, and are really piss poor copper.

just in general, the overall feeling, having been so incredibly successful in such a short amount of time, rising faster than anyone around here, and most in the industry, instead of experiencing praise and great joy , all I've been met with is more people, wanting more out of me, just sucking all my juices out of me, without any decency or understanding of what I am going thru.

it is like...the more successful I become, the further away from people I get. You'd think people would want to be around the light, around the positivity which I have surrounded my professional life with. But no, instead, the more success I get, the more doubt, cynicism, jealousy and hatred I get from people. People who I am discovering very quickly are totally FAKE. People that have claimed to be Friends, family even, and when I need them the most, in this crucial part of my life, nobody is there. I have been there for EVERYBODY. Supporting people, giving them advice, giving away game to help Them in Their careers, and now when I'm the one who is rising, all of a sudden I'm the selfish bad guy. It's almost like people EXPECT and WANT me to fail. and when I continually don't, and keep succeeding, they just are frothing at the mouth waiting to bring me down.

Well I won't fall down and I'm unbreakable. Whatever the hell all you throw at me, I'll keep rising. and when I get an oscar, and when I get to where I aim to go, you will all see.

JUST WATCH.

I am grateful to all the ones that have helped, and the ones that continually helped. And there are many of you. For one thing, the main part, Helms and my Parents. HELMS: Without YOU, I Would Be NOTHING. YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU all YOU Are and YOUR LOVE, is what is my STRENGTH AND ROCK. That will NEVER change. You are my SOUL, and whatever happens, you will ALWAYS be in my life, in whatever way, shape or form, whether romantic or friendship. You....how can I possibly even begin to THANK YOU???!!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE YOU. And To my Parents: I LOVE YOU. You are both....INCREDIBLE. I have the BEST parents in the world. Whatever we've been thru, that is the PAST. All we can change is the NOW, and the FUTURE. Regardless of the drama, I KNOW you did your VERY BEST for me, and you've done everything you possibly could. Don't think that I'm not grateful. I AM. It's just....wish there was some understanding and consideration from your end, instead of blaming me for not doing this and that. I'm doing my best. Thank you to all the professional people I have met who are helping me. Many truly great, truly Good people, who are powerful in business and this industry, but still have not become assholes in the process, and are bestowing their kindness upon me. I know it is because I have shown I am dedicated, here to stay, work my butt off, and want it more than anyone else. I've prepared, I keep working at it, and it is all happening. THANK YOU. You will not regret it. This is more just a vent and frustration about how hater people have been acting towards me. Stop with your demands. I don't have a million Liliana's that can go around and there are just too many of you , wanting too many things from me. just stop. I'm doing my best.

Peace out.

And remember to listen to that song by T.I and Rihanna. Listen to T.I's rap, because that is how I feel about many of You.

I'm a Model...You Know What I Mean..The CATWALK lol

Modeling a High Fashion/Avant Garde Runway Show on Saturday night, Feb. 7, 2009

Model: ME-LILIANA. duh. lol. 6 guys, 6 girls. They're all HOT. -duh.
Designer: NATHALIA + 2 other Surprise Guest Designers
Featured Star fashion line: Celebrity Paris Hilton's new shoe line

20:00 (8 pm for y'all who don't like military time-I LOVE IT)

6363 Hollywood Blvd. (corner of Cahuenga Blvd. and Hollywood Blvd.), Hollywood, California, NATHALIA's FASHION BOUTIQUE/ANDROMEDA.

No ticket or guest list necessary, just tell the gate people one of the models-Liliana, invited you. All should be good.

Bring ID just in case.

There will be a lotta industry people there, good opportunity to network.

SO

BE THERE.

Watch me do my thang. Or fall flat on my ass. Haha. Either way, your support would be appreciated!

The "Secret" of Success...

When you have no way to escape Fear, you cease to be Afraid......
Live Without Fear!

LILIANA
Liliana Alam a.k.a TheAnomalyInfinite (TheAI)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Actress.
Model.

(Agency Represented)

Based in Hollywood, USA

Additionally:

Masseuse (Freelance and Company Represented: http://www.aromatiquemassage.com ). Writer (Published Author) . Artist (Gallery Exhibited) . Musician (National Musician's Guild Member) . Inventor (Patents-Pending). Designer (Self-Line). Dancer (En Pointe) . Chef (Well-Versed) . Entrepreneur.

C.E.O. and Co-Founder, EmpireEnterprises

IQ: 163 points (classified above Genius)

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Client Testimonials available.

Buy LILIANA Artwork, Music, Posters, Books, thru Liliana@LilianaAlam.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Official Site: www.LilianaAlam.com
Official Writing, Poetry, Thought Blog: http://www.breakfree2energy.blogspot.com
Online Store:
http://stores.lulu.com/lilianaalam
Official YouTube Channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/theLilianaChannel
Acting: http://www.myspace.com/LilianaTheActress
Modeling: http://www.modelmayhem.com/827147
Art & Photography: http://theanomalyinfinite.deviantart.com/
Music: http://www.myspace.com/lilianatheanomalyinfinite
Writing Samples:
http://www.helium.com/users/327385
Network/Fan-base:
http://tagged.com/lilianaalam
http://theanomalyinfinite.hi5.com
http://www.myspace.com/theanomalyinfinite
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"What you dream is already your reality. You have to believe in it enough to see it."

"A genius is someone who aims for an invisible basket, scores, and is then told by others he is delusional."

"1 hair on your head is not enough, but 1 in your soup is too much"- Albert Einstein on relativity

"Many starving for bread. Many more starving for Love."-Mother Theresa

FEAR NOTHING. QUESTION EVERYTHING. LOVE EVERYONE. RULE THE UNIVERSE.

"yea...you know all that shit you aint' willin' to do? I do it. That's why I'm Successful and you're bitchin' about how hard life is."

*NEVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN WHAT YOU CAN BE*

The True Measure of Greatness

A newspaper in Bangladesh has named my father, Dr. Maqsudul Alam, one of the Top 5 Men of the Year for Bangladesh.

This is a shining and proud moment. It is an honor to be this great man's daughter.

Humbled.

Will upload newspaper article when I get it and scan it.

Oh I am a fearsome thing......hahahahha

From PRIDE & PREJUDICE :


Mr. Darcy ," The word (accomplished) is indeed applied too liberally. I cannot boast of knowing more than half a dozen women in all my acquaintance that are truly accomplished."

Caroline, "Nor I, to be sure."

Elizabeth (Lizzy), "Goodness. You must comprehend a great deal in the idea."

Mr. Darcy, "I do."

Caroline, "Absolutely. She must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages to deserve the word. And something in her air and manner of walking

."

Mr. Darcy, "And, of course, she must improve her mind by extensive reading."

Lizzy, "I'm no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any. "

Mr. Darcy, "Are you so severe on your own sex?"

Lizzy, "I never saw such a woman. She would certainly be a fearsome thing to behold

."

First Official Celebrity Meet

SOO. Guess who I Met at a club tonite? Gordon Ramsey. Yes, That Gordon Ramsey. HOLY SHIT.

I was dancin with some dude at this club AREA and I look over, and I'm like shit is that Gordon Ramsey??!!!! He didn't have a whole crowd of fans around him, I don't think people even know who he is in America. (None of the people in my group knew who he was. I'm like are you serious? He's a fuckin famous Chef. He's so kool. !) Anyway, affter a while, I went up to him (he was on the same dance floor, exactly one couple over from me) , he was dancing with a girl, I tapped him on the shoulder, said, "hey you're Gordon Ramsey right? He kind of smiled like awkwardly, like he was happy with his anonymity. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I just said, "Man, you're awsum. I love your show. My boyfriend and I watched it all the time. I just relocated here from New Zealand." Then he said, "oh really?! What part?" Then I said, "Wellington, Tauranga." And he said, "What's your name". And I said, "Liliana". And he said, "Well I'm with a group of people....so....Happy New Year Liliana!" (random eh the New Year thing? lol. that must have been so weird for him, trying to figure out a polite way to tell me to fuck off.) He smiled, put his hand on my shoulder, and I said, "cool, cool. Thanks for talkin' to me. Have a great night!" and I walked (ok, squeezed between a lot of people as this was at a club, lol "walked" in the other direction). And that was that. I kept buggin one of the girls in our clubbing group to use her camera and take a pic of us, but she kept saying "later, later", and of course, later never came, so I don't have any photographic proof of this fucking moment that I doubt will ever happen again. Well I don't know, maybe Ramsey comes to AREA a lot. He was gettin' all kinda freaky with this one girl from his group, lol, it was funny. Oh and what was so Trippy, is that he looks EXACTLY like he looks on TV. I mean, the wrinkled forehead, the hair, everything, its just surreal. So, I officially had my first "celebrity" encounter. He was pretty nice, I half expected him to be like, "fuck you, I'm Gordon Ramsey." So there you go. THIS, THIS which just happened is another reason why it is worth it to be in LA. you never know when you'll run into someone you respect. It was pretty groovy. Woulda been cool to dance with him, probably could have done the slutty thing and shoved my way in, but nah, that's f'cked up. I was trying to figure out a way how I could utilize the networking factor, but my industry is like a whole other world from his, so what's even the point of the whole, here is my card thing. This is actually true of another friend of mine who has run into a Lot of celebrities here, and the main point is that, even if you meet Angelina Jolie, ok, so what. How will that advance your career? A photo in a tabloid? Nah. What you need, and who you need to be meeting with, is not Angelina, but Angelina's Agent. or Ramsey's Agent. But ya, I did the best I could for when I was there. Plus, I was the spotlight of the club, as always, was in a few circles of spontaneous dancer battles, it was so fuckin' fun. One other reason I was trying to attract as much attention to myself as possible was to maybe reel him in like a fish. But it didn't work. lol. It was great seeing him just chillin out with everyone on the floor, again, I don't think anyone knew who he was besides his group, which there were only about 5 of. It's nuts. You could be like Angelina Jolie, and go to China or somewhere where nobody knew you, and blend in. Well Ramsey isn't like Super Famous , but in the UK and Australia/NZ, he's HUGE.

Okey Dokey . I'm just chillaxin after clubbin w/ my group. lol yes I'm on the comp while everyone is thinkin' I'm nuts.

what a cool night. The first thought I had about all this was holy shit Helms would TRIP!!!!

YES!

My new Acting MySpace:

http://www.myspace.com/LilianaTheActress


UPDATE:

Warning: It's full of the greatness of Life. Pessimists, Cynics and Haters beware!

NOTE: I AM SO F****** GRATEFUL AND BLESSED FOR EVERY MOMENT. TO ALL WHO HAVE HELPED, ALL WHO ARE HELPING, AND ALL WHO BELIEVE.

Ok some news tidbits:
-shooting "Smoking Aces: Blowback" in New Orleans next week. Small part in from what I understand is a shit movie, but it will be noticed. The film is going to get a lot of exposure.
And it is an action/thriller/pulp fiction type of movie, which is one of the genres of my aim. Gonna be a powerforce/angelina jolie type, in addition to dark/suepernatural stuff.

My part is cooooool-a singer in a jazz club, just when "shit is about to go down". I'm singing, and dancing/performing a song in it, (utilizes a few of my talents) which I'm recording in the studio this week. It's like a moulin rouge/type of scene. And I'm the lead singer. think like marilyn monroe with an ethnic new orleans flavour, in a jazz club with lotsa smoke and guns.
-new front-runner for modeling campaign of "Trust No Man" gear. Local (LA) and possibly National billboards.
-reviewing a screenplay-top secret weeehhee!!-for a film that I have been offered the Lead for. No I can't disclose the name of the film, the director, or the production house yet. Sorry. Keep watch for updates to see if I picked it, and what it is...dun dun dun.....



More Tidbits:

-HELMS I FUCKIN' LOVE YOU.
-my Dad is getting Married in March in Bangladesh!!!! Wee!!!! I am of course going to the wedding. March 15-30. And I have a New Sister!!!! WOW!!!!! YAY!!! Go Dad!
-I Love My Mom. That remains. Always. She is so Supportive, and what an amazingly different phase we are going thru. You see people, All relationships Can and SHOULD be worked on and Changed. It's never too late! Respect and love your parents! You've only got 1 set!!!! Your mom should be your Queen and your father your King.
-I saw "Yes Man" at the gramahn's chinese theatre. Theatre, no biggie, it's cool but....just a theatre. lol. Movie..ok it was not one of his best, the main message is Vital and Great, but the execution was a bit poor and overly cliche. I give it 1.5 star. One of these days I aim to meet the great Jim Carey. He's still hilarious as ever. And Zooey Deschanel, Love her.
-moving into my new apartment 1st week of Feb
-I have 4 other jobs which I Love, besides being an agency represented Actress. and Model.
And all of them pay lucratively and consistently. Plus, I freelance all my talents. Aside from the doubt of many, No I have not had to get a job at Burger King or become a Waitress. I knew my plan would work, and it is. All of this additional income, with what I enjoy, allows me to not have to be a "starving" actress and choose movies that have bad parts or do the Jessica Alba thing of doing Dark Angel-the one good thing she's done, and then starring in a bunch of piss-poor comedies where she is half-naked in each thing. I get the strategy, completely, and I Love Jessica Alba, but I aim not to have to go there.

These are the jobs:
1) Fundraiser for a Non-Profit Organization. (after 6 days of training I was informed one of my calls made the "top 20 training calls of All time." And, after just 1 week, I was offered the position of executive assistant to the C.E.O of the company. I turned it down because it's a full-time gig. But, Flattered.

2) Masseuse (usually I freelance and have my own client base, but in LA-can be dangerous- you never know, so I joined a massage company for now that finds me clients, until I familiarize myself enough with LA).
-I already have been booked at my new agency (after just 4 days of launching the website)-well duh. lol. nah its cuz of the picture: (marketing ya know. oy.)
http://www.aromatiquemassage.com/ (check under STAFF) there's fuckin spelling errors all over the place, but my director-doesn't seem to think its that important. HA! Well we get booked anyway so I guess in some sense he's right. He's pretty great, I think I've pissed him off a bit though. lol.

3) Travel guide for Wagaami.com "Wagaami" is a mixed French and Japanese word, which roughly translated means "friend". This company is revolutionizing the travel industry by providing a personalized (Non sexual! and Safe) professional service for savvy travelers who want an inside perspective on cities they travel to. Though I just got to LA, my skill-set in being comfortable with people is the main ingredient for this "position". lol. I get paid to basically have a great time with new and interesting people...

4) Talent Scout for LIMELIGHT Entertainment. We seek specific types of Models (female and male). Though both this one and the non-profit position, I am cutting back my hours because the main Masseuse + my freelance work (Music, Art, Writing-business plans, Tutoring, Dance, Etc.) pays enough for all. Plus this New Orleans gig will bring a nice payola.
>Yes . I will gladly buy y'all cookies and take you to disneyland when I'm famous. And a whole lot more. But keep in mind, the road to the top is a Looong one, that takes hard, ball-busting work and toil, one I'm fully ready to walk on until I reach the gates.


-I have made so many network connections with bigwigs in Hollywood, in a short time its fuckin nuts. I mean....every day is SURREAL. I have a plan of attack as to all the people I Need to meet to get into my Film Niche.
-I have made new friends, that are all Incredible. I feel so BLESSED. Film producers, Musicians, Music Producers, Photographers, a few Actors, one Model.


-other stuff. Yes. there is a lot more. but that stuff is not g-rated and if you want to know about it you'll have to email me. And I'll reply to you when my schedule permits.....mmm......


-My life....it's not just like something out of a dream, or Is a dream, it's.....like some made up fantasy that I keep pinching myself as to it's reality. Simultaneously, I know it all is REAL, and it is all of my making. Also, I would not be here without the help of so many. I carry the dreams and hopes of many, in me. Know that as I am succeeding, and the further I get, we rise Together.

I LOVE YOU.

Every One Of You. ETERNALLY GRATEFUL.

May you LIVE THE LIFE YOU IMAGINED. EVERY SECOND.

p.s If you ever find me full of myself (well yes I'm a megalomaniac, but you know what I mean) then please give me a hard punch and an ass-whooping. My integrity Must stay in tact in this land of Vices. Don't get me wrong..I LOVE Hollywood.....but it's easy to start thinking you're "the shit" and forget where you came from. So I repeat, Kick Me In The Ass if I start to Become an Ass.

What A Great Time To Be A U.S Citizen. Proud, FINALLY.

R.I.P Beloved Murka

You were my animal soul mate. You were the smartest, most beautiful, most noblest cat in the world. Nobody could have asked for a better friend, a better confidante. I know your spirit lives on. I Love You.

May everyone who sees this please take a moment in passing to pray for Murka's spirit.

Thank You.

Above is my Beautiful Murka's photo.


Anyone that knew Murka, please contact me for details about our small memorial.


"Murka loved you and that you loved her. Murka is a very special kitty. You always talked about her with the widest smile on your face and brightest gleam in your eye, her street smartness, her feistiness and playfulness, but, she was also regal and classy, keeping situations under her terms. I remember all the gifts that you told me she used to bring as she pranced happily towards you with birdies and the like. =)

Liliana was Murka's, Murka was Liliana's and Murka knew that you loved her very much.

And God asked the feline spirit
Are you ready to come home?
Oh, yes, quite so, replied the precious soul
And, as a cat, you know I am most able
To decide anything for myself.

Are you coming then? asked God.
Soon, replied the whiskered angel
But I must come slowly
For my human friends are troubled
For you see, they need me, quite certainly.

But don't they understand? asked God
That you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined. For all eternity?
That nothing is created or destroyed?
It just is....forever and ever and ever.

Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever.

- Unknown

Viva Forever Murka

Happiness is in the Absence

"What is it that you fantasize about?

World Peace?
International Fame?
Winning a Pulitzer Prize, Nobel Peace Prize?
An MTV Music Award?
Meeting some genius hunk ostensibly bad but secretly simmering with noble passion and willing to sleep on the wet spot?

Lacan's point> Fantasies Have to be unrealistic, because the second that you get what you seek, you don't-- you can't want it anymore.

In order to continue to exist...desire must have its objects perpetually absent.

It's not the "it" that you want.
It's the fantasy of "it".

So, desire supports crazy fantasies.

This is what Pascal means when he says that we are only truly happy...when Daydreaming about future happiness.

Or why we say...

the hunt is sweeter than the kill.

Or be careful what you wish for,
not because you'll get it...
but because you're doomed not to want it once you do.

So the lesson of Lacan is, living by your wants will never make you happy.

What it means to be fully human is to strive to live by ideas and ideals...
and not to measure your life by what you've attained in terms of your desires...

but those small moments of integrity, compassion,
rationality, even self-sacrifice.

Because in the end, the only way that we can measure the significance of our own lives...

is by valuing the lives of others."

-from "The Life of David Gale"

Development

Liliana Maqsudulovna Alam was born on August 15, 1986 in Pyatigorsk, Russia to Bangladeshi father Dr. Maqsudul Alam, a scientist (then pursuing his phD) and Russian mother Dr. Irina Anatolievna Pyrkova-Corotan (re-married) physician (then in med-school). She migrated to America with her parents at age 6. Living first in Washington State and Hawaii. From the ages of 4-9 her parents tutored her extensively in the subjects of geography, mathematics, world cultures, and science. From age 9 onwards Liliana self-educated herself in the areas of literature, philosophy, science, history, economics, world cultures, art, music, and other disciplines. Her parents divorced when Liliana was 11, and she moved with her mother to Pennsylvania, then to Northern California, moving back and forth between her parents. During her childhood and adolescence she traveled with her mother and father (separately) to Europe, Bangladesh, Taiwan, Russia, the Bahamas, Mexico, Canada and much of continental America. Liliana attended over 20 different schools of varying disciplines (Catholic, private and conservative to public, to traditional, to schools for the Gifted), including Montessori, prestigious private academy Punahou of Hawaii, and Northwestern Pennsylvania Collegiate Academy. Liliana graduated early at 16 from Kihei Public Charter High School in Maui, Hawaii, being the first and only to have done it at KHS, established for "out-of-the-box thinking, self-motivated students". She moved to New Zealand where she pursued a double Bachelor of Science and Biomedical Science degree at Victoria University, changing majors 3 times between Mathematics/Physics/Human Genetics, Psychology/Criminology, and Chemistry/Geology. During this time she worked independently on her Mathematical Number Theory Pi Thesis, and 2 books she had been writing since age 13. She found the university system unchallenging and unfullfilling. It was fatefully around the same when a personal lending situation went wrong, and Liliana was robbed of 10 grand by a former friend, that Liliana (the former non-conformist Idealist) discovered the world of Business. She left university and continues to make a living off of her plethora of mainly self-taught talents: Writer, Model, Actress, Artist, Musician, Dancer, Masseuse, Chef, Entrepreneur. She finished 2 books in 2007, poetry/artwork/photography work "Cacaoethes Scribendi: The Urge to Write", and "The Anomaly Infinite" a multi-genre loosely autobiographical but fictional novel. Liliana has been IQ tested several times throughout her life and is currently at 163 pts., with 130 points and above being considered statistically "Genius".


Career

Liliana was discovered as a Model at the age of 11. However she rejected the offers she received. As well as her parents, particularly her mother. She was invited to the 2001 Talent Convention in Opry, North Carolina but did not attend. A talent scout from a newspaper ad took interest in her, but the necessary parental permission was not given. She graduated from Barbizon Model & Training school in 2002. Liliana was the lead singer of the rock/darkwave band Sui Generis, members Ryan Aranda and Andrew Venable. At age 20, she became the Creative Director and Art Analyst Writer of Yasumi Online, a website specializing in the sale of Antique Asian Art, the founder of who recruited her upon his belief in her raw business acumen and cutthroat instinct. Liliana independently finds works in sectors ranging from Massage to Writing to Business to Modeling, thru forums such as craigslist, modelmayhem, her previous client base, and of course her websites and google. She is additionally currently signed to MORE Models & Talent in Hawaii, imageModels & Talent and Possum Productions in New Zealand and lives between California, Hawaii and New Zealand.

Liliana just signed to new representation in Hollywood for her two main current focuses: Acting & Modeling.

Liliana utilized the marketing tools of the Internet several years ago and manages about 10 websites, and social networking forums to promote her talents and image to industry professionals, as well as her personal following.


Two projects which are in the long-term future are the establishment of her powerhouse company EmpireEnterprises and ATARAXIA, a new school system. Liliana currently scours the world for exceptional talent and people, thru person and online networking sites, building a database of people for her future projects.


Achievements

As a youth Liliana excelled in all academia, winning numerous contests and scholarships in all fields; indeed achieving the coveted Johns Hopkins Medical School Scholarship for Gifted Youth at the age of 9. (Liliana ranked 99th percentile in a nationwide achievement test). She also ranked 99.9% percentile in a Nationwide Writing Assessment test thru her 9th grade Journalism course at NW Academy, 1st place 2 years in a row at her Piano Studio for best Student, she maintained a 4.3 GPA average throughout early schooling. She was the Only underclassmen in the majority of her grueling Honours and AP courses. In addition to Academics, Liliana won numerous competitions in art, literature, invention/science, music, etc. including an acceptance into the National Musician's Guild Society (for her piano repertoire) at age 10, admission into the Junior Honor Roll Society, 1st place for a memoir and Honorable Mention for a sci-fi short story when she was 10 in the Hawaii state Language Arts Competition, 1st place at the Washington statewide Youth Art Competition,1st place at a junior Science "Invention Convention" for her "kitty kat-feeder", She was tested at Sylvan Center as a 6 year old for exceptional academic ability, again at age 16, and 20 at other testing facilities, scoring 163 points on an IQ test, putting her in the statistical category of "genius", with an IQ of above 130 pts. being "genius". Liliana was the first to graduate high school early at KHS, and did it using her own particular method of advanced AP credits and extracurricular credits from Volunteer work (Hawaiian Humane Society and Medical Volunteer), and taking community college courses in HS.

Personal

From a young age Liliana exhibited an interest in understanding the mentalities of people, and experiencing different lifestyles and cultures. She is an Atheist of her own belief system, and has experimented with Wiccan, Goth, Meditation, Buddhism and Agnostic schools of thought. She shaved her head bald at 17 in a move to rid herself of "earthly materialism". Her persona, writings, poems, art and philosophies have inspired an underground following, mostly thru the internet.

Liliana cares deeply about People, all types of people (including everyone from high-power CEOs to 3rd-World Housewives), constantly finding new talent and people, maintaining a personal connection thru emails and websites with her supporters, friends and fan base.

Liliana's official website: www.LilianaAlam.com, was created gratis by Christian Nikolaisen, the force behind such websites as www.my-diary.org.

Her artist name "The Anomaly Infinite" derives itself from:
"the"
"anomaly"
"infinite"

Liliana had the physical appearance of a 25 year old at age 13. The attention she received then and continues to receive from men was overwhelming, and partially contributes to her suspicion of new people at times.

Liliana is currently in a relationship with Half-Austrian/Half-Papua New Guinean Futboller and Filmmaker Helmut Marko, who she met in New Zealand and has been with for 5 years. She has no desire to get married and rejects the conformist plan of marriage, kids, and a house in the suburbs, though is understanding of those who choose this path in life.

She cherishes family and keeps close connections between her father, mother, her 3 yr. old half-brother John Paul and 17 yr. old step-brother Mile Corotan, and family in Bangladesh and Russia.

Liliana has been diagnosed by 5 different physicians and psychotherapists as everything from Schizophrenic, Bipolar Disorder, Hypomania, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder,

Liliana is not on any medication, is shockingly stable and lucid, and believes that what the western medical community defines as "disease" is a gateway of consciousness which allows for higher thought-patterns not as easily accessible by those considered "normal". Her personal and theoretical experience in this category has spurned the creation of papers presenting her arguement refuting the current perception about mental illness.

Due to her transcendent way of thinking, Liliana shifts between being extroverted, highly focused, motivated and achievement-orientated in the practical world, to an introverted hermit who sees materialism, and goals silly inventions of modern society and finds enlightnement in the state of "being".

Liliana's core aims and purpose in life are to fulfill all of her talents and areas to the best of her abilities, and leave behind a great legacy of change in the world by doing so. Her independent marks of significance have to do with her being a Writer, Artist, Musician, Actress. Her global contributions have to do with her entrepreneurial ventures of Inventions, EmpireEnterprises, and ATARAXIA: a new school system for the world. Though both of these areas of Liliana relate to each other.






EXTRA TIDBITS

Liliana won numerous competitions in art, literature, invention/science, music, etc. including an acceptance into the National Guild Society (for her piano repertoire) at age 10. Liliana attended over 15 different high schools across the globe at different educational systems ranging from those aimed for the gifted to traditional public and private catholic schools. At age 16 she graduated early at Kihei (Maui, Hawaii) Public Charter High School, a non-traditional school for motivated and "out-of-the-box" students. She worked on a scientific research project on pi, of her own thesis, experienced meditation, wrote a book, even shaved her head bald. At 17 she was accepted into prestigious Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand where she pursued a Biomedical Science degree in Human Genetics, Physics and Mathematics, and a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology and Geology. Liliana did not find challenge or adequate stimulus in the university or any traditional school environment and left Victoria. She worked on another book, inventions, modeling (Liliana has been modeling since age 13), acting, and various other pursuits. This poetry project is a section of a much longer 10,000 page multi-genre, multi-media, book project to be released sometime in the future. Liliana has been tested for IQ and achieved way beyond the statistical limit of 150 points. To give some perspective of the unique workings of Liliana's versatile mind,"Genius", in terms of these standardized IQ tests is deemed 130 points and above. At only 21, Liliana now lives, works, and travels around the world. Liliana calls herself a "nomad/Citizen of the World", and is called a "gypsy" by her father who shares a close bond with Liliana. Liliana is fond of people, observing different cultures, sights and mannerisms, and goes with her Muse, half Papua New Guinean half Austrian rising filmmaker Helmut Marko (her life partner) wherever her creative juices, goals, and huge ambitions inspire her. Liliana's message to all dreamers, believers, creators, and all people everywhere is to "imagine. don't listen to what your naysayers tell you, pursue the visions in your mind with unshakable determination and lastly, Love Everyone. Fear Nothing. Rule the Universe." Liliana is known in underground circles as "The Anomaly Infinite" for her vast and unique abilities in countless areas, the first being of her kind-The Anomaly, for having talents without explanation or end-Infinite. The paragraphs below provide some further explanation of this other, "supernatural", "crazy", extreme side of Liliana.

"THEANOMALYINFINITE A.K.A LILIANA ALAM IS A WRITER, MODEL, ARTIST, MUSICIAN, ATHLETE, INVENTOR, PHILOSOPHER, EQUESTRIAN, CHEF, MENTALIST MASTER, SEX & HEALTH ADVISOR, MASSEUSE, DANCER, ETC.!!! A GENIUS, A VISIONARY…. AI’S UNIQUE METHOD OF DOING EVERYTHING, DOING IT WITH "THE AI FLAVOUR” VERSATILE GENIUS, AND EASILY NAVIGATING BETWEEN VAST AREAS OF EXPERTISE, MAKES HER THE FIRST OF HER KIND. A CHILD PRODIGY HIDDEN FROM THE PUBLIC EYE, AI “DID IT ALL” BY THE AGE OF 10. NOW AT 20 SHE'S GROWN TO BEING IT ALL, AND IS NOW SHARING HER STORY WITH THE WORLD…. WITNESS THE RISE OF AI."
www.breakfree2energy.blogspot.com
THEANOMALYINFINITE HAS ABILITIES SUCH AS INVENTING A NEW KIND OF MATHEMATICS, EXCELLING IN ALL AREAS IN RANGE FROM MUSIC TO SCIENCE TO ART, MOVING A PIECE OF STRING TIED TO A STONE USING SOLELY HER MIND (RESEARCH MENTALISM, A METHOD USED BY MANY MAGICIANS, A FAMOUS EXAMPLE OF ONE WHO USES IT IS CRISSANGEL:MINDFREAK). THE, SIGNIFIES A SINGULAR, SOMETHING OBSOLETE. ANOMALY IS DEFINED AS A PROIGY, GENIUS, A BEING BEYOND THE DEFINITION OF CURRENT SCIENCE, INFINITE MEANS EXPANDING FOREVER IN MANY DIRECTIONS, NOT BEING LIMITED TO ANY ONE DIRECTION. THUS: THEANOMALYINFINITE. AI HAS DONE THINGS WHICH MANY HAVE CLASSIFIED AS SUPREMELY GENIUS, AND OTHERS HAVE CLASSIFIED AS THE OPPOSITE: FALSE, TRICKERY, CLEVER DECEPTION, AND NOT TRUE MAGIC, TRUE MIRACLE, TRUE GENIUS, OR THE TRUE SUPERNATURAL WHICH MANY CONSIDER INACCESSIBLE FOR ORDINARY PEOPLE. AI BELIEVES THAT THE SUPERNATURAL IS ACCESSIBLE AND ACHIEVEABLE BY ALL PEOPLE, AND THAT THE TRUE POWER OF THE MIND IS WHAT EXPLAINS THAT WHICH IS DEEMED TO BE SUPERNATURAL, TRUE MAGIC, MIRACULOUS, AND UNHOLY. AI BELIEVES THAT UNDERSTANDING THE UNLIMITED POWER OF THE MIND CAN EXPLAIN THE PERCEIVED MIRACLES AND PREVIOUSLY MISUNDERSTOOD ABILITIES OF JESUS CHRIST, WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZART, VOLTAIRE, LEONARDO DA VINCI, YOGIS, PRODIGYS, GENIUSES, AND FIGURES THROUGHOUT THE COURSE OF HISTORY WHO ARE BELIEVED TO HAVE BROKEN LAWS OF NATURE AND PHYSICS, ANOMALYS WHO HAVE EXCEEDED THE LIMIT OF NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS. AI BELIEVES THAT ANYONE CAN POSESS THESE PREVIOUSLY DEEMED INACCESSIBLE POWERS AND CAN PRACTICE THEM AT WILL, WITH THE FULL UNDERSTANDING OF THE UNLIMITED CAPABILITIES OF THE HUMAN MIND. THE FOLLOWING WILL DETAIL THE HISTORY OF IE IN THE HOPE THAT PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THAT THE MIRACULOUS, THE SUPERNATURAL, THE GENIUS, IS REAL, BUT NOT INACCESSIBLE. THAT ANYONE HAS THE CAPABILITY TO WALK ON WATER, WALK ON HOT COALS, MOVE OBJECTS WITH THEIR MINDS, AND OTHER SUCH CONSIDERED BIZARRE PHENOMENA. IE BELIEVES THAT ANYONE, IS CAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING, EVEN THAT WHICH IS CONSIDERED PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. WHAT FOLLOWS WILL CONTINUALLY BE UPDATED THROUGH WRITING, PHOTOGRAPHY, VIDEO, AND OTHER FORMS OF DOCUMENTATION OF IE'S ABILITIES, AND HISTORICAL EXAMPLES, UNTIL THE CLAIM WHICH IE HAS MADE IS ACCEPTED AND UNDERSTOOD. IE'S GENETIC HISTORY COMPRISES SCIENTISTS, MUSICIANS, ARCHITECTS, DESIGNERS, MILITARY GENERALS, CANDLEMAKERS, ARTISTS, ENGINEERS, ETC. AI AND HER PARENTS HAVE A LONG WITHSTANDING LOVING, YET EXTREMELY COMPLICATED AND STRANGE RELATIONSHIP. AI REMAINS DYNAMICALLY CLOSE WITH HER FATHER AND HOPES TO ONE DAY BUILD AN EMPIRE WORTHY OF HIS MORAL AND ETHICAL LEGACY.


AI A.K.A LILIANA ALAM WAS BORN IN PIETEGORSK, RUSSIA, ON AUGUST 15,1986 TO A RUSSIAN PHYSICIAN MOTHER (AN ORPHAN. PHYSICS, ATHLETICS, ETC. WHIZ) AND A PROMINENT BENGALY MICROBIOLOGIST FATHER (SCHOLARSHIP WINNER, 2 P.H.D's/biochemistry/microbiology, STUDIED AT MAX-PLANCK UNIVERSITY, ALBERT EINSTEIN SCHOOL IN NY, US, MOSCOW UNIVERSITY). SHE LEARNED TO SWIM AT AGE 1. AT 2 SHE RECITED RUSSIAN POET PUSHKIN'S ILLIAD LENGTH POEMS BY MEMORY. AT 3 SHE SHOWED TALENT IN MUSICAL, MATHEMATICAL, ACADEMIC, ATHLETIC, AND ADDITIONAL ABILITIES. AT 5 SHE MIGRATED WITH HER PARENTS TO WASHINGTON STATE, AMERICA, WHERE SHE WON A STATEWIDE ART COMPETITION. FROM AGES 6-10 HER PARENTS PRIVATELY TUTORED HER EXTENSIVELY IN MATHEMATICS, GEOGRAPHY, HISTORY, LANGUAGES (IE SPEAKS FLUENT RUSSIAN, ENGLISH, PARTIAL- ARABIC, BANGLA, SPANISH, GERMAN, FRENCH, JAPANESE) WHILST IE ATTENDED 5 DIFFERENT SCHOOLS IN DIFFERENT STATES, INCLUDING MONTESSORI-A SCHOOL FOR GIFTED CHILDREN. AT 9 SHE WAS ACCEPTED INTO THE NATIONAL GUILD OF MUSIC FOR HER ABILITIES IN PIANO (IE PLAYS PIANO, GUITAR, RECORDER, PARTIAL- TENOR SAXAPHONE, SITAR, DRUMS-JIMBAY,BASS GUITAR, ETC. ALSO AT 9 SHE TESTED SAT 99th percentile STATEWIDE OF HAWAII FOR WHICH SHE WON A JOHN HOPKINS SUMMER SCHOLARSHIP. IE DID NOT TAKE THE SCHOLARSHIP, AND INSTEAD TRAVELED TO EUROPE WITH HER MOTHER. IT WAS AROUND THIS TIME THAT IE'S GROWING FASCINATION WITH THE MANY PERCEPTIONS AND POSSIBILITIES WHICH SURROUNDED HER SKYROCKETED. SHE WANTED TO BE NORMAL AND EXPERIENCE "NORMAL" LIFE. HER PARENTS AND ACADEMIC ADVISORS ATTEMPTED TO KEEP IE FROM EXPLORING THE VAST POSSIBILITIES BEYOND HER STRICT SCHEDULE. IE REBELLED AND DECIDED TO EXPLORE AS MANY TERRITORIES AND MENTALITIES AS POSSIBLE. IE WAS ACCEPTED INTO PUNAHOU SCHOOL OF HAWAII FOR ACADEMICALLY ADVANCED STUDENTS. SHE LEFT THE PRIVATE SCHOOL SYSTEM AT AGE 12, THE SAME YEAR IE'S PARENTS DIVORCED. THE TUTORING HAD STOPPED AT AGE 9, BUT AI CONTINUED TO SELF-EDUCATE HERSELF IN AREAS SUCH AS ECONOMICS, HISTORY, POLITICS, GEOGRAPHY, MILITARY STRATEGY, THE ARTS, PHYSICAL FITNESS, SCIENCE, LANGUAGES, MUSIC, MATHEMATICS, THE PARANORMAL & OCCULT, RELIGION, ETC. AI MOVED WITH HER MOTHER TO PENNSYLVANIA, U.S, IN THE HOPES OF BEING SURROUNDED BY A MORE AMBITIOUS, FOCUSED, MOTIVATED AND CULTURAL POPULACE. THE EAST COAST OF AMERICA GREETED AI WITH COLD HANDS AND HER ABUNDANT TALENTS AND PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES BECAME A SOURCE OF JEALOUSY AT TEH 3 HIGH SCHOOLS SHE ATTENDED, AND SHE WAS OSTRACIZED LARGELY BY THE FEMALE STUDENT BODY FOR HER CONTRADICTIVE NATURE OF BEING SUPREMEMLY BRILLIANT (AI IN 9TH GRADE WAS IN ALL HONOURS CLASSES AMIDST 11TH AND 12TH GRADE STUDENTS) EXTROVERTED, AND PHYSICALLY SUPERIOR IN APPEARANCE SO MUCH THAT IN SOME WEEKS IE WAS "ASKED OUT" BY EVERY EXISTING FEMALE'S BOYFRIEND. AT 13, IE HAD THE PHYSICAL APPEARANCE OF A 20 YEAR OLD. AN EX-BOYFRIEND QUOTES, "SHE LOOKED LIKE A GORGEOUS, SUCCESSFUL, 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN!!!" AI NEVER LIED ABOUT HER AGE AND USED IT INSTEAD AS A SHOCK FACTOR. HER FIRST BOYFRIEND WAS 21. AI FREQUENTLY SPENT TIME AROUND OLDER PEOPLE, FINDING THEIR MATURITY CLOSER TO HERS. SHE RARELY RELATED TO PEOPLE HER OWN AGE. AI RECEIVED MODELLING AND ACTING OFFERS, AND A CHANGE TO ENTER A BEAUTY PAGEANT. AI'S MOTHER DECLINED HER PERMISSION FOR AI TO MODEL, REASONING IT WAS A DANGEROUS BUSINESS. AI, BEING REBELLIOUS FROM A YOUNG AGE, RAN AWAY FROM HOME SEVERAL TIMES AND ALTHOUGH DID NOT PURSUE A MODELING CAREER OR FAME, AI EXPERIMENTED IN AS MANY AREAS AS SHE COULD, DEFYING HER PARENTS. DURING 12-16 AI ATTENDED OVER 6 HIGH SCHOOLS IN DIFFERENT STATES BEFORE DECIDING THE HIGH SCHOOL SYSTEM IS EXTREMELY FLAWED IN ENCOURAGING INDIVIDUAL GROWTH AND EXCEPTIONAL TALENT. AI WANTED TO EXPOSE HERSELF TO AS MANY HIGH SCHOOLS AS POSSIBLE WHICH IS WHY THE HOME-SCHOOLING OPTION WAS INSUFFICIENT FOR HER RESEARCH PURPOSES. AI'E OBSERVATIONS ABOUT THE CURRENT EDUCATION SYSTEM WORLDWIDE ARE CURRENTLY BEING CONSTRUCTED INTO A BUSINESS PLAN FOR ATARAXIA: A SCHOOL OF THE FUTURE. AI GRADUATED EARLY AT 16 AT KHS, MAUI-A NON-TRADITIONAL EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM. AI WAS AT THAT TIME COMPLETING HER POETRY AND ART PROJECT FOR PUBLICATION, BUT PUT IT ON HOLD TO PURSUE A BIOMEDICAL SCIENCE DEGREE FROM VICTORIA UNIVERSITY IN NEW ZEALAND AWAY FROM THE HIPOCRACY AND MATERIALISM OF AMERICA, WHERE SHE SWITCHED HER MAJOR 4 TIMES AS SHE FOUND THE MATERIAL UNCHALLENGING AND THE UNIVERSITY ENVIRONMENT UNSTIMULATING AND MEDIOCRE. IT WAS HYPOTHESIZED BY AI'S PARENTS THAT SHE SHOULD PURSUE IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS SUCH AS HARVARD, YALE, PRINCETON IN HOPES OF FINDING A PLACE OF HIGHER STIMULATION, BUT THE RIGID DICTATORSHIP, ARISTOCRATIC MENTALITY OF ATTENDING STUDENTS, AND OVER-EXCESSIVE FOCUS ON ACADEMIC TRADITION DISGUSTED AI. ONE OF AI'S PROJECTS-ATARAXIA IS DEVELOPING A SCHOOLING SYSTEM FOR WHICH ENCOURAGES INDIVIDUAL GROWTH. AI BELIEVES THAT THE TERM "GIFTED" AND "GENIUS" IS A LABEL, AND THAT ALL PEOPLE EVERYWHERE ARE EQUAL IN THEIR CAPABILITIES, AND ALL HAVE UNLIMITED ABILITIES AND TALENTS WHICH USUALLY IF LEFT TO TRADITIONAL SCHOOLING SYSTEMS, AND TRADITIONAL LIFE CAREER PATHWAYS, WILL NEVER BE DISCOVERED. AI HOPES TO ESTABLISH A SCHOOLING SYSTEM IN THE FUTURE WHICH REFLECTS THIS MENTALITY. AI HAS BEEN IN SEARCH FOR OTHERS SUCH AS HERSELF IN THE HOPES OF GROWTH AND STIMULATION. SHE HAS MET NOBODY PRIOR TO HELMUT MARKO, HER CURRENT PARTNER, WHO HAS A SIMILAR APPROACH TO UNLEASHING ABILITIES TO EXCELL IN ALL AREAS. SHE HAS FOUND SOME SOLACE IN GROUPS SUCH AS MENSA-FOR PEOPLE WITH A "GENIUS" I.Q, AND USES MYSPACE. COM, HI5.COM, WWW.ABOVETOPSECRET.COM, AND OTHER "ADVANCED/GIFTED/TALENTED" WEBSITE FORUMS TO SEEK THOSE LIKE HER. IE'S IQ WAS 149 IN 2003, IT HAS GONE UP MANY POINTS SINCE THEN AND IT HAS NOW SURPASSED THE LIMIT OF 150 POINTS, THE SCALE USUALLY MEASURED BY STANDARDIZED IQ TESTS. AI HAS BEEN CLINICALLY DIAGNOSED BY A WIDE RANGE OF PHYSICIANS WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER, OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER, DEPRESSION, ADHD, SCHIZOPHRENIA, HYPOMANIA, AND A COMBINATION OF SEVERAL SIMULTANEOUSLY. EVERY PHYSICIAN CONCLUDED A DIFFERENT ANALYSIS FROM HEALTHY TO "ILL", ADDING EVIDENCE TO ONE OF AI'S SCIENTIFIC THEORIES ON MENTAL ILLNESS AND PERCEPTION, THAT MENTAL ILLNESS IS A FALSE LABEL, FURTHERMORE THAT IT IS NON-EXISTANT. THE WESTERN WORLD'S REBUTTAL WAS SIMPLY THAT "DIAGNOSED PATIENTS EXHIBIT EXCESSIVE SIGNS OF DENIAL". AI HAS SHOWN THAT THERE ARE UNTAPPED MENTAL ABILITIES OF THE MIND WHICH HAVE NO SUPERNATURAL OR INACCESSIBLE QUALITIES, WHICH HAVE BEEN CONTINUALLY REGARDED BY THE WESTERN MEDICAL WORLD AS ABNORMAL, AND NEEDING CURE. AI, UPON QUESTIONING MEMBERS OF THE POPULACE WHO CONSIDER THEMSELVES "NORMAL", HAS BEEN GIVEN RESPONSES SUCH AS WE LIVE IN THE "REAL WORLD". IE HAS SHOWN HER TALENTS AND ABILITIES THROUGH AREAS RANGING FROM ACADEMICS TO ATHLETIC TO THE ARTS TO THE UNEXLAINABLE. AI BELIEVES THAT LABELS SUCH AS IDENTITY, NAME, STATUS, ACHIEVEMENTS, PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, FRIEND CIRCLES, CAREER, AND OTHER SUCH LABELS EQUATED WITH TRADITIONALIZED HUMAN LIFE ARE LIMITING TO ANY INDIVIDUAL BEING, WHETHER IT BE A FLOWER AN ALIEN A SOLAR SYSTEM OR A HUMAN. THE "MULTI-GENRE" UNFORMATTED TEXT ON THIS PAGE LISTS SOME OF HER PREVIOUS PROJECTS. IE IS CURRENTLY WORKING ON SEVERAL PROJECTS, ONE OF WHICH IS THE COMPLETION OF HER MULTI-GENRE NOVELLA, A TALE OF HOW A NORMAL HUMAN BEING BECOMES A SUPERHUMAN IN THE MEDIUM OF ART, POETRY, MATHEMATICS, MUSIC, WEBSITE, AND EVENTUALLY TELEVISION. PROJECT RELEASE DATE TBA.

WWW.BREAKFREE2BLOGSPOT.COM IS ONE OF AI'S WEBSITES, IT HAS WITHIN IT SOME OF HER POETRY, ARTWORKS, AND MISCELLANEOUS ESSAYS.

AI CAN BE FOUND ON THE WEB THROUGH

www.LilianaAlam.com
http://theanomalyinfinite.hi5.com
http://www.myspace.com/theanomalyinfinite
www.breakfree2energy.blogspot.com

EMAIL AI: nosfereinsteon314@gmail.com

AI TREASURES ALL THE INDIVIDUALS (AI HATES THE TERM "FANS") AI HAS KNOWN THROUGHOUT LIFE. AI BELIEVES THAT ALL BEINGS CAN HELP EACH OTHER REGARDLESS OF SUCH FACTORS AS AGE, RACE, SOCIAL STATUS, CAREER, ETC. AND THEREFORE IS OPEN TO RECEIVE SUGGESTIONS, COMMENTS, HELP, AND TO GIVE HELP FROM OTHER BEINGS. AI TRIES TO PERSONALLY READ & ANSWER AS MANY EMAILS AS POSSIBLE, HOWEVER DUE TO THE LARGE AMOUNT OF EMAILS AI RECEIVES AND AI'S VERY BUSY SCHEDULE, THE AI MAY NOT BE ABLE TO RESPOND TO YOUR EMAIL. AI WILL KEEP YOUR EMAIL ON FILE.

Yes!

Back in LA after Holidays!

WeeeeWaaaa!!!

This is not based on any specific event, but a general note about LIFE:

"Treat life as a curve ball. Instead of being a Wall and Stopping the bullets.....
Morph yourself to become One with them so that they cannot hurt you."


In the words of the great Helmut Marko

"Ride the Wave. Don't Drown in It."

FUCCCCK!!!!!! DAMN!!!! WOWWWW. LIFE IS PHENOMENAL. I feel so FREE. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYBODY. I hope that its going Fantastic for you.

I FEEL SO FUCKING FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like the chains have been ripped off me.

and I jumped the furthest crevice, just to see if I would die. And I didn't die.

I do this shit all the time, push myself like that. And , every time, I'm just so AMAZED, with LIFE, with POWER, with the GREATNESS of the MIND and of the SPIRIT.


BLAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes I know this is pretty cryptic. Let's just say what happened tonight was FREEING.

Hope it gives You Hell

by the way: YAY for Britney Spears!!!!!! Now just get back with Justin..........

Well I'm not a Millionaire or bona-fide Rock Star-YET. I'll get there. Til Then, here's to the haters who told me I wouldn't make it THIS far: (sing along with me!) Ya ya its generic but it and The All American Rejects KICK ASS c'mon!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Seriously HATERS, I Love You. You amuse me and make me laugh. See ya in the audience at one of my shows or premieres.
THANK YOU to all the non-haters, Lovers and Believers. We'll reap the rewards Together.


"Gives You Hell"
-The All American Rejects

(woulda shown you guys the music video, but blogspot is disabling embedded videos now. grr.)

Here is the Link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l06M-dsQf3Q


I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place

And you're still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace
I wonder how bad that tastes

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

Now where's your picket fence love
And where's that shiny car,
And did it ever get you far?

You've never seem so tense love
I've never seen you fall so hard,
Do you know where you are?

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well, hope it gives you hell

Hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where'd it all go wrong, the list goes on and on

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well, hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see, what you've done to me
You can take back your memories they're no good to me
And here's all your lies,
You can look me in my eyes
With that sad sad look that you wear so well

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well, hope it gives you hell

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song and sing along oh you'll never tell
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell
You can sing along I hope that it will treat you well

This song is brilliantly multi-layered. And obviously, it's aimed at Everyone including Me, lol, so me posting it is hilarious. DUHHHHH. However, I do resonate with it, Entirely. The only thing that bugs me about it is that it implies nobody else can do it, which everyone Can. That's the problem with a lot of celebrities these days, they forget their roots and where they came from. Sui Generis-my old band and I wrote a song very similar to this 5 years ago. (and yes of course I'm going to say ours is better. Because lyrically I'm layered and never plain.) It was called "Sheep's Clothing". BUT, each and every artist and song is DIFFERENT and has a DIFFERENT purpose. No better or worse......Props to The All American Rejects. You'll see me on those charts in 10 years or so. However long it takes.

Peace!

I hope they like their picket fences.....

Guess who's made more progress in 2 weeks in Hollywood than many who've been there for years?

Guess who has 4 reputable acting & modeling agencies in Hollywood interested in signing her? (I already have representation in New Zealand and Hawaii, but aimed to get representation in Hollywood)

Guess who's about to sign an agency contract with one of them in January? (have been reviewing it over the past week).

Guess who's gonna have a small, but notable part in an upcoming blockbuster?

Guess who's already had several paid shoots?

Guess who's been inside a real Hollywood sound studio?

Guess who's got jobs lined up for January?

Guess who's got a place on Sunset Boulevard for a price that is incredibly ridiculously cheap?

Guess who's developed professional relationships with industry contacts in film, music and art?

Guess who's found wonderful people who have been incredibly kind and helpful?

Guess who's down-to-earth and happy?

Guess who's powerful?

Guess who's a dork nerd doofus?

Guess who is enjoying every minute?

Guess who's spending a merry time in San Fran with her family before Jan (while working on things in LA via net lol)?

Guess who sees her partner and blood via Skype whenever possible remaining strong in our 5 year relationship regardless of long-distance!?

Hmm.


GRATEFUL TO ALL!!!! I Love My Life! All success and failure is shared. I'm doing this for me and for ALL of YOU who BELIEVE in Yourselves and Stick To Your Visions. Thank YOU.

Work Smart. Believe. Keep at it. Things Happen.

Ciao!

Merry You-mas

it is not Christ or God who has the power, whether to heal, destroy or elevate. it is YOU. You are that unexplained phenomena. YOU are the one who gets you thru the hardest time. It is YOUR harness of that energy, that unexplainable energy around us, which releases YOU into freedom.

everything the bible says is valid. Everything. When I say that, I am not referring to the historical literacies which some may interpret at "fact". View the bible as a great myth that has a depth of meaning. Don't take things too literally like a whale swallowing a man or the value of pi being equated to the number of 3 instead of it's actual mathematical value. The points about value in humanity, the love for mankind, the transcendent state of mentality in which the "kingdom of heaven" exists, the will to continue to have faith even when all else indicates otherwise, believing that things do have a reason and that as shitty as something gets there IS a purpose and a lesson which you may not have realized yet, all of that, Listen to it and heed it. I've written about all of this in my book, but wherever it comes from, so long as people get the message, YAY. the bible is the most accessible, universally, to all people thus far. do look beyond the text, and also remember that the bible was written by Many people, not one, and it is more a systemic faith of people rather than a description of a biological "fact". It is a collective description, experienced, felt , and claimed to be seen, by a collection of people, at different times throughout history who felt some unexplained truth and were united by it.

this kingdom of heaven business.

Now, many interpret this "kingdom" as being a building or a place. It is WITHIN YOU. don't misunderstood the phrase "kingdom of heaven on earth". many christians misunderstand it too.

it's not a place. or a building. or a collection of intermediaries.

its a place within the spirit, within the mind and foresight. some take millenia just to Reach that mentality. others, reach it sooner. but that Understanding, is the metaphorical Kingdom of Heaven. Thru that SIGHT, you see both a broken leg and a sunset as being the same in beauty, magic and transcendence. consequently, that the bible's definition of good and evil, is very basic. and that, evil and dark, CAN and SHOULD be embraced just as goodness and light. the church fears evil, because they misinterpret what they have read. evil is nothing more than responding to instinct. and instinct can also be controlled. that does not make it neither good nor evil.

Back to the point "eveything in the bible is right". > with the one exception of it being centered around "christ">son of god or "god".

It is YOU. you will say, ah, but where does "YOU" come from. science says the womb, nature. the bible, same thing but in a cosmic way. I say, YOU came into existence because you WILLED your way INTO existence. Yes, even before you were born, your energy, your spirit was present, and it was strong enough, to materialize the THOUGHT and IDEA of YOU, into actual physicality.

most forget about all this.

ALEXANDER held an empire by the age of 25.

the "mysterious force" which allowed him to do this was HIMSELF.

I Love LA!!!!!!!!

Meeeeep!!!!


I EXPECTED to Hate LA. and I am so damn pleasantly surprised. I fuckin LOOOOVEEEE it here man!!! Geeeez I love it.

by the way, all these media reports and mainstream perception that LA is some evil hellhole is BS so far as I see it, letting all of you know who are outside of LA. This place thus far is safer than any city I've lived in before, and I've lived in my fair share of creepiness. The people are also Very kind, another misconception. I've received a lot of Help in my short time here, totally unexpected.

The only kinda icky thing that happened thus far is, I arrived Saturday, and Sunday my wallet got stolen, with all my "shit" in it. Oh well, things happen. It's all gravy. It technically got "lost", but then when I looked back at the place where I dropped it, it was gone, so an opportunist must have picked it up.

musicians, artists, everyone just walkin on the streets, sunset and hollywood.....saw DAVE KOZ holy shit, well I didn't actually "see him", but while I was preparing before a meeting in beverly hills (i know holy shit. beverly hills. weeeeeee. lol. i'm a doofus.) , I saw his name on the bill at the wilshire theatre. Damn. this is just so fantabulous its gooey.

yes yes you want to know how everything is going. And I will tell you. for now hold on to your socks and wait for results I can show you.

bleeee bleeeaaaaa me love likey la. weee. mk. byebye 4 now.

The Will To Act

Something I have not shared with you. Last week my beloved macbook completely and unexpectedly crashed, I was in the middle of writing an article here (which is now lost). It was one of my best thus far. It was about many things, though the fluid concept was the conflict of peace/hermit existence vs. the achievement/ego and fight of the entertainment industry jungle.

Yes my mac has been fixed, and all is great. I back up all my data on an external drive so the major components of my work, finished books, writing, art, music, photography, mathematics theories, modeling portfolio, films, etc. were all saved. I did lose a lot of new data that I had created the two weeks prior to the nervous breakdown of my mac, but it has all been stored in my brain and when I make time I will attempt to re-write it.

This is my first entry since the breakdown, which is a bit traumatic for me. The mac breaking down was a murphy's law, ironic moment for me. Naturally I am quite skeptical, but I also believe very strongly in my vision and that anything is possible, for anyone. Reality constantly tests my theory and I am constantly questioned by others as being delusional. The mac was the source of all my work. I had a 7 gb database of photographs off of the internet, built up over the last two years that I used for artistic inspiration and strength. I had 155 gb of work material: music, writing, art, etc. It had all my web browser bookmarks of sites which were exceedingly brilliant to me/or informative which took a lot of time to find, my writing, art, music, everything was organized on my desktop and harddrive exactly the way I wanted it, which had taken a lot of time to arrange. Basically if you imagine an entire life on a computer, this was it. I was so thrilled that I had my mac, because I could use what was on it to show to industry execs. And, when this Great thing had just happened about getting meetings in Hollywood, almost too good to be true, it felt like the universe was laughing at me, telling me HAHAHHAA you think you've been fighting, struggling and in pain for so long and its now over? HAHAHA here you go, solve this one. Obviously it is still only a device, and it is not wise to attach to materialistic things, but this was a useful tool for me, especially with showing industry people, friends, family , my work in an easily understandable way. The irony of it all, was that on top of the chaotic crazy schedule I Already had, the clients I had to keep in contact with which my main contact is Email (no other internet access or comp or money to go to internet cafes), those clients being my Income, and preparing for LA, just when Finally an opportunity had come along, Bang my mac crashed. I immediately jumped to fix it, and I had a lot of unexpected support and help from a certain friend who I am very grateful for. That was another turning point, Asking help from people, a strange and irritating concept to me. I fixed it on my own of course, but the beginning process I actually told a few people what happened and one of them jumped as many hoops as possible to help me. It got fixed. In the big spectrum of things, this is absolutely nothing. Less than infinitely insignificant. Me is me, my work is my work, computer or no computer, internet or no internet. But when I was in that moment, it Felt like the "end of the world". As I continue to tell people, your Emotions can be more powerful than any Reality that you are in. I just want to tell everyone, shit happens, accept that it does. And it's not even shit! I look at this all as a great opportunity. Because my mac had to be erased back to its original, factory settings, it was like opening up a brand new mac. It was a cleansing of the past two years, in preparation for LA, like a fresh new me. And plus, I did have all my data backed up. Yes, it will take a lot of time to re-organize everything and re-build bookmarks and such, but it's also exciting to be able to start from scratch, again. It is important to see the light and blessing in any situation. I made sure I didn't let this event distract me from LA, or make up all my tendencies of connecting and analyzing of the Meaning behind everything. I just did my best to see it for what it was, a technical error. Not some message from the universe, or a sign. Just a technical error. And if I had to be meaningful about it, a big blessing of impetus from the universe giving me a house-cleaning! In addition, preparing me for any instance when possibly it might crash again in LA, to make sure I have alternate ways of doing business. I'm grateful and thankful for this event. In addition, to the support & help from my Helms, my anonymous angel friend, and the instant help offered by those whom I told. Makes my heart radiate.

And thus....I am back on! Like the belgian horse I got back on after I painfully fell off at 13, I force myself to embrace, then conquer my fears, however small or large they are.

Here is something I found in my hard-copy database of notes as I was sorting out thru stuff to take to LA.

I wrote it sometime at 14 (I think).

"No, you're wrong. I'm not a story.
I'm not a fantasy or a dream.
I wasn't given the perfect genes, or the perfect abilities. or the perfect environment.
All I ever had was the will to be better.
Better than me. Better than perfect.
So now you know.
And you could have done it too.
But now you've wasted your life and tried to kill mine."

You Attract What You THINK

My soul is as wide as the ocean. My heart is as free as the sky. My brain is as wise as the mountains. My intent is as swift as the tiger's tooth.

I feel grateful, excited, focused, determined.....something grand happened today. stay tuned........


Helms....You Are My FORCE.
also..I Love Love Love Love LOOOOVe my Mom, and Love Love Love LOOOVE my Dad.
THANK YOU TO EACH AND EVERY INDIVIDUAL FOR THEIR DEEP SUPPORT! As well as every HATER. You telling me I couldn't do something propelled me even further.


** UPDATE

So what was the big news?

A "power player" has taken interest in me, and is introducing me to 5 top studios & executives in LA in Dec.
There's a hell of a lot more goodness in that, but basically that's the fantastico news!!!! Weeee!!!!!!!

I am feeling the combination of being exuberantly focused and ..shitting in my pants. Adrenaline junkie...So. Gotta be Prepared as I possibly can, Market/Package myself as best as I can, and just be the Power Force which is Me!!! I mean DAMN. FINALLLLY. 20 fuckin years battlin'....

"I wanna run down the halls of my highschool....I wanna bust down the double doors...and when I stand on these tables before you....you will know what all this Time was for....."-John Mayer "No Such Thing

p.s If you wanna know the fuller story, lemme know. For all parties involved I'd prefer to protect their privacy and not give out names. (I'm probably also not authorized to! lol).

Fame as still as a Mountain

She closed her eyes and descended further into the secret abyss. Part of the tiny joys that put pinpricks along her spine was the unknown, being in it and breathing it. Every plant, the curvature of the spear shaped leaves, the blue openness of the sky was perfect. She was on top of everything, God. What a humbling megalomania, to be on top of a mountain looking down at the ocean, the people tiny, the buildings miniscule. It made her aware of the insignificance of one human in comparison to the great big Earth, universe, galaxies. Simultaneously, how easily fame bridged that gap of insignificance and self-importance.



If she were to walk down the rocky mountain to the pink, yellow and blue structures below she would be instantly recognizable. Here, in this town somewhere on the outskirts of the city, oblivious to the hub of celebrity life, she could still create total chaos. One un-sunglassed walk into a local dairy below and in 5 minutes half the town's populace would be lining the block fighting each other for an autograph, even just a glimpse of her. So wrong it was, this mask of over-pompous importance, but how true it was. On the mountains, in nature's power, surrounded by evanescent wind and such radiant colours, it was a human that dominated the world.



How lost their race was. How anxious to believe in something, to hope that one person's life could hold such a gravity. How beautiful they all were, fragile and corruptible.



Bring a man to the mountains and sit him on the highest cliff. Show him now near his fingers are to the highest clouds. Let a man grasp how much power he holds within. And pray that in his confidence, he may still be humble.



She watched the sun shining its' rays over the sparkling water. The pact had been made, her and nature, nature and her, but soon it would be only a memory. She walked further into the abyss, preparing the mask she would have to wear, as the mountain covered itself with grass and weeds, she too would keep this peace hidden within her, would show only her designer sunglasses and tanned face to the hordes of her followers below.



Someday, she hoped she's bring all her fans onto the mountain, let them all feel the infinite wisdom of branches, ocean and hawks. It would be a union of all humans, drenched in the warm arms of planet Earth.



Someday her fame would be more than a bridge between spirituality and materialism.




Someday it would hold the power of a still mountain.

The Universal Human Condition and Its Thwarted Cure

Why do people read, write, listen to music, work, do anything at all besides dream?



Because all of humanity is secretly lonely, a loneliness felt deep within the soul of a unilateral existence. We seek anything that shows us in some min-ute way that in our loneliness we all feel the same, that we are understood, that our lives, while utterly alone, will never be insignificant or forgotten because Someone Else has understood us. Someone we may have never met, that thru their craft communicates perfectly those hidden nuances in our souls which to us were always felt, but uncommunicable. A client in a law firm. A singer on stage. An author of a book. A scientist with a theory. We, in our incredible loneliness, are all each other's significant Icons. To ourselves, we are only ourselves. But to others, we are the promise and fulfillment of complete understanding of the soul. What we see in a mirror is somebody else's answer, someone else's dream. We are all an icon to someone else. The thread of how a tapestry works is that each individual thread cannot make anything unless intertwined with another. Thus, the idea of Love, the complete solution to this pattern. From 2 individual threads, one is woven. From 1000 individual humans, a society is made.




In all our loneliness, we are alone. But to anyone else, we are a part, a vital part of their imagination and hope. We play some crucial piece of the jigsaw puzzle they try to solve every day.



Insanity is one of the cures of loneliness in which a person makes up many different people, thoughts, observations, and therefore connections (instead of normalcy which requires different people to have separate identities, purposes and meanings to the individual), the insane person instead of seeking the world and all its occupants of people and lifestyles, brings the world to himself, manifesting it in his/her own head.



Therefore is incapable of interacting with anything else other than one's own mind. Due to lack of communication, lack of understanding by other humans, this individual becomes categorized as "diseased". When any human being is able to relate to others, they become iconic, a representation of true Cure of soul-felt loneliness.



An insane person sacrifices relatability to others for relatability to his/her own self.



He/she becomes a nonety, a person not able to relate to others, thus seen by others as somewhat useless.



Humans want desperately to find a connection, understanding, validation, whether in the form of human relatability, or monetary gain, or status socially, or even extreme dislike for it shows the reverse of connection.



But an insane person is indifferent to social needs and wants. And is therefore an outcast by his own solution to loneliness, with a world inside the mind instead of living in the external one. In order to solve this loneliness, the human must succumb to his insanity. By doing so, he/she will be free, but in the eyes of the humans around him, no longer fully, human.

a thought on Love

Knowing and loving him, to the depths of so many platforms of connection has given me an enlightenment comparable to nothing before or after it.

Love is more than ultimate obsession. More than devotion, care, commitment, responsibility; it is a depth beyond anything else. It transcends our superficial existence and bites a dagger thru its core. It shakes us, questions us, throws us in a million directions and splits us apart. Those who have never known it, oh how I wish you could. Simultaneously, previously being part of that percentage which doubts its existence, and its "grandeur", I can firmly say without a doubt that it is Nothing like fairy tales or movies. It is More. It is on a level deeper and filled with greater journeys than the wildest imagination could dream. Journeys of the mind, the conscious, the subconscious, the gut, the libido, all of it.

What I feel for you is the most human love, and the most supernatural transcendental power of any miracle. I Love You.

THE LILIANA SUPREMACY WALLPAPER

Genius

here are some new song lyrics of mine. (it all rhymes to the tune in my mind. haven't recorded the music yet.)


"Genius"

i think i have a skewed perception
every thought is opposite from what they think
i'd rather be a hermit than popular
rather be of original substance than a #1 hit

all the picket fence brainwash
yea I flew above that from the start
they tell me life is only one way
i see it all as art

oh and i walked on water
when jesus was frozen in my kidneys
i have supernatural powers
i can soar when i'm asleep

chorous:

i'm a paranoid schizophrenic
hypomanic A.D.D
bipolar and a depressive OBCD

in my eyes i see the future
it's anything i want it to be
they all wanna call me crazy
i know i'm a genius. a genius.

this is how all genius speaks



been called ugly, beautiful, hot
and everything in between
you will find across all borders
you're only as big as you believe

delusional, said all the uppers
as i shared my plans to change the world
"its the ego that destroys you"
settle for a life less bold

you got all your labels
i got all my brain
i know i'm not the only one
who sees it all this way

voice-over bridge:

Kahlo, Einstein, Plath, Da Vinci
Nash, Plato, Gates, Manson, Shakespeare
They all had a vision nobody understood
Now the world bows to the ones they ridiculed


chorous x2

Irony

there's a birdie in my heart
watch it dance and sing a lot
feathers grow as it dances
flying upon currents of time

there's a poison in my veins
watch it soak into the trees
when the nests are being built
it will slowly, surely kill

YouAreTheREVOLUTION

Change is Everywhere. It's all Free. It's all Love. Can you SEE IT?! Can you Smell IT? Open yourself to it. Do not let Fear and Cynicism overtake you. Young People! Old People! That label doesn't even matter anymore, nor does race, sex, religion, political influence. You are a carbon-based form vessel, individualizing yourself thru everything you see, everything you do. That nagging thing in your mind, Listen to it will you?!!! It's the thing that defies any and all present logic and creates huge opportunities, solutions and new dimensions of thought that are unique to only you. Listen to your instincts, to your deepest, truest beliefs because those are what matter. Everything else is noise. The Internet, GRAND. 10 years ago I couldn't have the massive audience after just typing something up, or drawing, or painting, or making music. It is Now! FAN FUCKING TASTIC. 10 years ago it wasn't possible to make more money out of an invisible entity like webspace than in an "office job". Nay not even that! It's a matter of opening your mind to the Possibility of something Working. "Hmm, I wonder if I walk down this street today and ask every person for $5. What's the worst thing that could happen, ...oh what will everyone think.." "I wonder if I just hugged this person coming towards me, this stranger. Nah. They'd think I was a pervert." "I wonder...I wonder if I did "X" would it work?" I am a Dragon Jaguar representation of this change and let me tell you it is all SO FUCKING POSSIBLE ITS RIDICULOUS. I taught myself everything I know (dance, cooking, music, art, health, love, business, ...basic "SKool" subjects, all the things that click like de ja vou when I bump into them) institutionalized education hasn't made the cut for many years. Knowledge is everywhere, Grab it! Though its not actually "learning" so much as it is recollecting what I already knew within myself. Actual knowledge is putting into application that which is in your mind; for the part of you that nobody but you sees, to be released and visible. That is all your soul, your entire being Yearns and Aches to do. Everything flows, anything is possible, and that is not naive or day-dreamy self-help fodder, its fucking REAL people. If your life isn't twisting and turning in quite the way you want it to, never doubt what you knew or were seeking originally. Time, space, people, the weather, it takes a while for these forces to catch up to the idea in you. Experiment with yourself and see just how far your vision can take you. It's euphoric! Don't ever quit being you or thinking the way you think. Be adaptable, be versatile and able to change, but retain your YOU-NESS. Things that make perfect sense in your brain are likely to be nonsense to your "real-world logic". Fuck it. Do it anyway. Just to piss yourself off, kick yourself in the ass and love yourself all at once. See, its so hard, so miserable, so excruciating to Trust Yourself, because it would mean that everything which is around you doesn't fit. It means that You are your own answer, and you have the responsibility to live up to whatever that answer is, to change what doesn't fit, BECAUSE ONLY YOU AND NO OTHER BEING HAS IT! Minimum wage, mortgage, deaf, blind, hungry, poor, legless, raped, abused, fucked, ignored, skewered, unappreciated, all of it is a triangle trying to convince you of your destiny. Beating you up, scaring you, making you into a terrorized square when what you really are is a brilliant hexagon. Shut up all the outside fuss. Don't let anyone or anything external define who and what you are (this writing included.) What is Your destiny? What is Your path? Well, only you know that. Listen!